Is the White House Really Just a Hologram?

I’m beginning to feel as if we’ve all been tricked into believing that the White House is in Washington, DC. I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s actually located in Miami and we’re all living in a Carl Hiassen novel (for those of you unfamiliar with Hiassen’s work, he depicts the inane and bizarre in south central Florida).

There have been several recent releases that have led me to this conclusion:

1. Tim Russert testified this week at “Scooter” Libby’s trial that Libby had not called him to “out” Joe Wilson’s wife, but to complain that White House “tool” Chris Matthews was being too tough on the administration. Too tough on the administration????? When Matthews questions members of the Bush administration it’s certainly not “Hardball with Chris Matthews”, it’s not even “softball”… I say it’s more like “t-ball”.

2. According to recent reports, our government, in its infinite wisdom, sent approximately 312 tons of shrink-wrapped $100 dollar bills in a cargo plane to Iraq… purportedly for reconstruction. As my daughters would say, “Duh”. Even the post office discourages sending cash through the mail… Now I’m no rocket scientist, but do you think this just might help to explain why some of the money we’ve spent there can’t be accounted for??

3. Before his scandal broke, the formerly fabulous Reverend Ted Haggard held weekly “prayer” meetings with President Bush. Ummmm, is that code for something that might involve leather and nipple-rings?

If I’m wrong, I guess this proves that truth actually can be stranger than fiction, and if I’m right, I only have one thing to say-- Mr. Hiassen, if you’re listening, “Heeeeellllllppppp!”




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