Declaration of Independence II

I thought it might be a lovely idea to present this to our esteemed leader on this 4th of July and declare our own independence... from him.

"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the
political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these [States]; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present [President of The United States] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation.

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury.


For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences.

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments.

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

A [President], whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people."

Justice Dubya Style

President Bush continues to strive to reach new lows as he commutes "Scooter" Libby's sentence preventing him from serving any jail time for committing treason by exposing the identity of a covert CIA operative... in war time... and then lying about it in court. Is it possible that we were all dreaming when we saw him say that anyone in his administration who was involved in Ms. Plame's "outing" would be fired and face appropriate legal action??? Apparently our president feels that the sentence was too harsh. Obviously the 30 months "Scooter" had been sentenced to serve would have been an excessive hardship for him and his family.

I just have to wonder though...where was this sense of compassion when he served as governor of Texas and refused to pardon any of those serving on death row? And where , by the way, is this new found sense of compassion for those troops serving their sentences in that prison called Iraq? Or could it be that only those who have dirt on our beloved leader benefit from his generosity???

An Open Letter To Congress

Since our fearless leader broke out his shiny new veto pen to use on the Iraq Accountablity Act, there has been much debate as to what to do next. My question is WHY?? You are engaged in the ultimate game of "Chicken" with a tyrant. You were placed in that position by an overwhelming majority of the people you work for, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. You are there acting on OUR behalf. For God's sake, don't blink!!!!

Let's not forget that this man was not only given everything he asked for in terms of funding, but was actually given MORE than he requested. The only caveat was a non-binding timetable for withdrawl from the gaping maw of death and destruction that is Iraq. NON-BINDING!!!!

An analogy may be in order. Let's say my 12 year old daughter presents me with a proposal for a birthday party. I tell her that I'd like to try to keep the costs as close to $100 as possible. If she looks at me with complete and utter disdain, telling me that she can't possibly be expected to plan a party with with any kind of financial limits placed upon her, I do what any parent worth their salt would do. I tell her that if she does not accept my offer, she will need to find a way to fund it herself... NEXT YEAR because this year she'll be doing community service on her special day.

What's my point? This president is acting like an ill-behaved adolescent. Send the same bill back to him and let him continue to hold his breath. So what if he doesn't like it??? Too bad!!! Trust me, he'll have to take a breath sooner or later. Under no circumstances should you give in to him. HE is the one responsible now for cutting funds for the troops, not you. The American people know that. Do not cave under his threats and foot-stomping. Rescind his authority because if he can't play nicely, he shouldn't be allowed to play at all. This man needs boundaries set. GIVE THEM TO HIM!!!

Ethel

Standing By His Man : The Story of Dubya and Gonzo

Dubya and Gonzo were breaking camp under a blazing Texas sunrise, preparing for another long day of clearing brush. Peeking out at Dubya from under lowered lashes Gonzo quietly asked,"You still angry?"

Dubya strolled over to Gonzo gently cuffing him on the chin."You know I can't stay mad at you for long. There aren't very many who truly understand me the way that you do. Not even Laura."

Reassured for the moment, Gonzo began to pack the bedroll with the rest of his gear. Turning slightly away as he strapped his supplies to his pony, Gonzo inquired hesitatingly,"But what are you going to do if they keep pushing for you to fire me?"

Dubya threw an arm around Gonzo, "Don't you worry 'bout that", he drawled. "You know I can't quit you!"

The men quickly finished their packing, eager to get on with the day's work. They swung on to their mounts, Dubya's a golden palomino and Gonzo's a sprightly paint, and began the long ride to the next area of brush to be cleared. Lulled by the gentle swaying beneath him, Gonzo asked,"But what if HE wants me to go?"

Just then Cowboy Karl appeared on the horizon astride his faithful mule, Sugarplum. Dubya began to smile,"Don't you fret Gonzo, you're doing a heckuva job!" He gazed fondly at Karl as he continued his approach. "You know Gonzo, like him or not, you've gotta admit, Karl's got one mighty fine ass."




Special thanks to Lucy for working a bit of Photo-shop magic in the creation of the graphic for this post!


Ethel

In Case You Weren't Paying Attention

You Go Girl!

A float depicting U.S. President George W. Bush being spanked by the Statue Of Liberty passes by during the Rose Monday carnival parade in Mainz, Germany...hmmm, I wonder if he'd be smiling if it had been Condi? (AP Photo Bernd Kammerer)



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Is the White House Really Just a Hologram?

I’m beginning to feel as if we’ve all been tricked into believing that the White House is in Washington, DC. I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s actually located in Miami and we’re all living in a Carl Hiassen novel (for those of you unfamiliar with Hiassen’s work, he depicts the inane and bizarre in south central Florida).

There have been several recent releases that have led me to this conclusion:

1. Tim Russert testified this week at “Scooter” Libby’s trial that Libby had not called him to “out” Joe Wilson’s wife, but to complain that White House “tool” Chris Matthews was being too tough on the administration. Too tough on the administration????? When Matthews questions members of the Bush administration it’s certainly not “Hardball with Chris Matthews”, it’s not even “softball”… I say it’s more like “t-ball”.

2. According to recent reports, our government, in its infinite wisdom, sent approximately 312 tons of shrink-wrapped $100 dollar bills in a cargo plane to Iraq… purportedly for reconstruction. As my daughters would say, “Duh”. Even the post office discourages sending cash through the mail… Now I’m no rocket scientist, but do you think this just might help to explain why some of the money we’ve spent there can’t be accounted for??

3. Before his scandal broke, the formerly fabulous Reverend Ted Haggard held weekly “prayer” meetings with President Bush. Ummmm, is that code for something that might involve leather and nipple-rings?

If I’m wrong, I guess this proves that truth actually can be stranger than fiction, and if I’m right, I only have one thing to say-- Mr. Hiassen, if you’re listening, “Heeeeellllllppppp!”




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You Just Have To BELIEVE!!!

Carl Rove, Dick Cheney, and Condoleeza Rice have crept from their lairs not only to stand firmly behind President Bush in his belief that America can still achieve victory in Iraq, but also to support him in his belief that the 1000 people John Montgomery captured in this photo were actually spelling an acronym for Impressively Macho President Evoking Courage , Awe and Honesty!

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A New Way Forward???

So Captain Queeg wants to send an additional 20 to 30 thousand more troops to Iraq in a temporary “surge”? While trying not to focus on the devastation suffered due to the last surge we faced in the form of Katrina, we need to ask ourselves if we can allow this to happen. Operation “A New Way Forward Into The Gaping, Sucking Vortex Of Death And Destruction” has its problems. Yes, the number of attacks has increased. Yes, the number of troop fatalities has steadily risen. But let’s not be too short-sighted.

In addition to certain slaughter, the primary difficulty with our fearless leader’s plan is where to find the warm bodies to ship over when our military leaders have stated that particular well has run dry. Therefore, I propose that every congressman and senator who voted for the war, their children, and their wealthy supporters, should all be sent over as a Christmas present to our country. Of course they would need to submit to the same 5 to 6 month training period that our troops are required to fulfill. We may have to keep an eye on Congressman Jack Kingston though. Remember him? He was exceedingly upset when he learned that the House would begin following a 5 day work week rather than the two day schedule they’d previously been following. As worried as he is about the impact of those three extra work days a week on his marriage, he may run for the hills when he discovers that the training period doesn’t count toward his “boots on the ground” time. Focus on the positive Congressman Kingston. Think of the bragging rights you’ll enjoy! After all, less than 1% of the people in our country can boast about having been on a 500 billion dollar jaunt.

And yes Jenna, this means you and Barbara will have to forego some tequila shots, but your dad promises you’ll only be there for a little while. Don’t worry, you won’t get lonely. Your dad and Uncle “Shooter” will be there too. However, after viewing Wonkette.com’sDecember 19th story regarding Dick’s latest victim (a deer who apparently knew too much), our troops have stipulated that his gun be retrofitted with the breathalyzer unit MADD advocates, as well as a duck call. If Dick manages to sneak alcohol over in a hip flask to wash his meds down with, the device from MADD will prevent him from being able to fire his weapon. In the event that he is able to shoot, the duck call would alert our troops to take cover. After all, you just can’t trust a guy who’d leave a warning like that on his lawn for Santa.

Carl “Minister of Deception” Rove, and Condi “Fiddle While Iraq Burns” Rice will also be packing to join you on your most excellent adventure. Think of it as another in the long series of vacations you both so enjoy. Only in the desert. With people shooting at you.

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