Standing By His Man : The Story of Dubya and Gonzo

Dubya and Gonzo were breaking camp under a blazing Texas sunrise, preparing for another long day of clearing brush. Peeking out at Dubya from under lowered lashes Gonzo quietly asked,"You still angry?"

Dubya strolled over to Gonzo gently cuffing him on the chin."You know I can't stay mad at you for long. There aren't very many who truly understand me the way that you do. Not even Laura."

Reassured for the moment, Gonzo began to pack the bedroll with the rest of his gear. Turning slightly away as he strapped his supplies to his pony, Gonzo inquired hesitatingly,"But what are you going to do if they keep pushing for you to fire me?"

Dubya threw an arm around Gonzo, "Don't you worry 'bout that", he drawled. "You know I can't quit you!"

The men quickly finished their packing, eager to get on with the day's work. They swung on to their mounts, Dubya's a golden palomino and Gonzo's a sprightly paint, and began the long ride to the next area of brush to be cleared. Lulled by the gentle swaying beneath him, Gonzo asked,"But what if HE wants me to go?"

Just then Cowboy Karl appeared on the horizon astride his faithful mule, Sugarplum. Dubya began to smile,"Don't you fret Gonzo, you're doing a heckuva job!" He gazed fondly at Karl as he continued his approach. "You know Gonzo, like him or not, you've gotta admit, Karl's got one mighty fine ass."




Special thanks to Lucy for working a bit of Photo-shop magic in the creation of the graphic for this post!


Ethel

Ah-ha!!!

Suddenly it's all begun to make sense to me how Dubya could have managed to ignore all those warnings of a possible attack...

E

Blogger Feeds Broken

Hacks broken; Blogger working on a fix

Hackosphere reports (per phydeaux3)that Blogger feeds are broken. Feeds are what power most of the hacks. You may find that hacks like Recent Posts/comments and Neo will be broken. So if something on your blog looks strange or is missing, hang in there. Blogger is working on it!



Phew! And I thought I messed something up on our template!

Lucy

Straight-Talk Express:

McCain implodes on "The Daily Show". As an inadvertent public service John McCain went on to prove once and for all that he's not just "losing it" but that he's officially lost his mind. That train pulled out of the station a looooong time ago and no one even stuck around to turn off the lights.

E

In Case You Weren't Paying Attention

Spring Fever: The Tale of the Mutant Frog

This past weekend was the first warm bout of weather we've had after a seemingly endless winter in upstate New York. My daughters, along with a small cadre of other children, armed with buckets and nets spent both days capturing and releasing bullfrogs, leopard frogs, assorted tadpoles, painted turtles and blandings turtles. At one point, after hearing frantic shrieking, I made a mad dash to the pond to release a snapping turtle that had been inadvertently netted.

Unlike most of the nearby moms, I love watching the kids knee-deep in muck. No doubt my love of nature was inherited from my father and nurtured by growing up in a rural area and watching Hodge Podge Lodge on PBS until I was bleary-eyed.

Known to my immediate neighbors as "The Environmentalist", I am the mom who will pick up a snake, wade in the creek to catch crayfish, compare and contrast the characteristics of toads and frogs, and will explain to the children that the giant bird they spotted by the edge of the creek was a great blue heron, not a crane.

Needless to say, when I heard cries of "mutant frog" coming from the creek I was concerned. If there were frogs in the creek displaying genetic mutations I wanted to know about it for obvious reasons. Bordering on hysteria, the children ran up to me speaking over one another about the frog they'd seen with two heads. Urging me to hurry, they grabbed my hand eager to show me the spot where the beast had last been seen.

On our way a mom called out to ask me if the kids were showing me the mutated frog. She shuddered as she described a frog with a head that appeared to have grown another head above it. With growing horror I began to wonder what toxins the kids had been exposed to during their explorations of the creek and adjacent pond. I began to mentally review the list of authorities who would need to be contacted in order to determine how contaminated our previously pristine creek water had become.

We quickly reached the spot and the children pointed at a large rock inhabited by what appeared to be a two-headed toad, not frog. Jumping across the creek boulders, I knelt to examine the creature. It appeared that rather than having two heads, it was as if two toads had been melded together. As I picked it up the children gave shouts of horrified disgust. I turned the toad over and began gently moving its legs. Sure enough, I found small feet tightly gripping underneath the leg joints of the bottom toad. I smiled and carefully placed the breeding pair back onto their boulder. After assuring the kids that the toads were not mutated but were instead making baby toads, I began to walk home.

On the way back I passed by the mom I'd seen a few minutes earlier. She called out to ask if I'd seen the mutated monstrosity. "Yep", I answered. " My guess is that it was caused by spring fever. It'll be just fine if it gets a bottle of wine, a bit of privacy, and a heart-shaped bed in the Poconos."



Ethel

A Very Disturbing Coincidence

On occasion I read novels by Jodi Picoult. She fancies herself an author unafraid to tackle controversial subjects. Most of her works do indeed deal with dangerous ground. Unfortunately many of these books end with a lackluster, noncommital conclusion (Don't even bother with My Sister's Keeper).

Last week I finished reading her latest: Nineteen Minutes. The subject, if you can believe it, is a school shooting. The victim of bullying fights back with guns in a terrible incident that has some disturbing parallels to the Virginia Tech incident in the news this week. I am not intimating that Ms. Picoult's book has anything to do with Virginia Tech at all... My concern lies in what the author, publisher, and media might do with this coincidence.

Often when tragedy strikes, anyone and everyone is called by the media to comment. So-called experts can be anyone the media feels can extend their coverage and ratings. Here's my concern... Ms. Picoult's book was released in March and is on the NY Times Bestseller List. How long will it take the media to glom onto the parallels and try to thrust the author into the spotlight? That much is expected, but it is her response and the response of her publisher that most worries me. If Simon and Schuster and Jodi Picoult in any way promote her book by riding the coattails of this disaster, I will be seriously pissed off.

I hope that the publisher and author will show integrity and decline to exploit the events in Virginia to hype Nineteen Minutes. We have seen authors take advantage of the celebrity afforded to them as CNN, MSNBC, and others scramble for knowledgeable guests to fill the time between investigation revelations and other "real news". Should Jodi Picoult show the poor taste to presume herself an expert and show up on my screen with her book in hand... well, I guess it will be a Boycott from the Verge. She will lose me as a reader, as well as anyone else I can reach personally and through this blog.

I truly hope that all of my concern is in vain and that no one is even considering the similarities as far as personal gain but, call me a cynic, I can hear Jodi's phone ringing right now.

Lucy

Prayers From the Verge

While I expect that I will be compelled to voice my opinion about senseless violence at a later date, right now I would just like to pray for all of those lost in the Virginia Tech shootings and would ask you to do the same.

Lucy

Imus Mess

I planned to sit here and rant about Don Imus and his racist debacle, but I found the entire mess way to repulsive. That, in itself, says it all.
Lucy

LOST: BACK ON TRACK

The last two episodes of LOST have been much improved. They have returned to the formula that made LOST a hit for the first two seasons. A mix of answers and new questions, no new characters suddenly appearing from nowhere and juicy flashbacks have me on the edge of my seat.

Click Read More for discussion that includes spoiler information from the last two weeks.
Last week found Kate and Juliet handcuffed together in the jungle, apparently abandoned there by the Others. After rescuing Jack and Sayid, and realizing that Locke had joined the Others, they began their journey back towards the camp. Kate flashbacks linked her to Sawyer through his jilted lover, Cassidy. It was an interesting episode and it is definitely setting the stage for further conflict between the survivors. Jack’s trust of Juliet is causing Kate and Sayid to question his judgment.

This week was amazing. An offhand remark from Juliet to Jack indicating that she handcuffed herself to Kate and dragged her into the jungle and lied to her about it calls Jack’s loyalties into question… at least for me. The twisted ending that showed us that Juliet is infiltrating the survivors’ camp to spy for Ben, and that they purposely made Claire sick (that they have implanted her with something that gives them that power!) was a great twist. But the question in my mind still remains: Does Jack know that Juliet is there for the Others? Is he protecting her for them? Does he have another agenda? And WHY?

I don’t know the answers, but I am loving the questions….

Lucy

Ethel in Quarantine

Spoke to Ethel on the telephone yesterday and she sounded positively green. The flu has claimed its latest victim. Apparently her computer contracted a virus last week and Ethel, kind soul that she is, contracted a sympathy virus that evolved into a full blown bout of the flu. Hopefully she will be on her feet and in full rant very very soon...

Lucy

Happy Easter From the Verge

House - Does He Care?

In this week's episode, Fetal Position, House finds himself performing surgery on a fetus in order to save his patient and her unborn child. Despite his earlier claims that the "fetus" is NOT a "baby" he seems touched during this moment... Just a little peek at House's human side.

Lucy

Lost in Translation

I waited in breathless anticipation of this week’s LOST. Finally I would understand the purpose of the introduction of Niki and Paulo. I was greatly disappointed.

First of all, and this won’t spoil much for folks… I’ll save that for the “read more” section… Niki and Paulo came out of nowhere. Every other new character was introduced with some kind of purpose or context. The “tailies” were survivors from the tail section; the “others” are mysterious folks on the other side of the island; Rousseau is a woman who has been stranded for 16 years; Desmond manned the hatch. For some reason, one day Niki and Paulo suddenly stepped from the background and spoke to main characters. And the main characters knew who they were. It was just wrong.

Secondly, they seemed to have no connection to anyone, no reason for being there and no charisma. I’m attached to Sun and Jin, Claire and Charlie, Desmond, Hurley, Kate, Jack, Sawyer… and while I’m not fond of Locke lately, he has reason to be there. Niki and Paulo are simply useless.

If you haven’t seen this week’s episode: Expose’ (Season 3 episode 14) don’t click “Read More”! If you have…. click away!

(Lucy)
All interviews and sound bites promised that after we saw “Expose’” we would understand Niki and Paulo’s purpose on the island, their connections, and we would like them! Hello? Wrong on all three counts!

After a series of flashbacks placing them in scenes from previous episodes, in which they had no real connections to any of our favorite survivors, I still didn’t see why Niki and Paulo were there. I certainly didn’t like them. I loved it when Sawyer, after being confronted by Niki demanding a gun said, “Who are you anyway?” I felt his pain.

Con artists are in abundance on the island and two more were not necessary. Their greed got them nowhere and they gained nothing. After being bitten by Medusa Spiders and paralyzed, appearing dead, they were buried alive.

I feel ripped off. My time has been wasted. Nothing they did or said added to my Lost “experience”. They enlightened no one to anything. They discovered nothing. They had no history with anyone on the island. It seems like the writers felt they had a few extra episodes to fill so they stuck this in. When fans declared their dislike of these intruders, they were summarily killed.

That was the best part, actually, them getting buried. I just hope to hell the island doesn’t barf them up. They are pretty distasteful.

A Brief Post While the Cough Medicine is Still Working

I had occasion to visit a 6th grade classroom very recently. I was observing as a teacher was presenting a Social Studies lesson on Ancient Civilizations. Students were obediently copying down the notes from the handwritten overhead slides the teacher had prepared. I noticed a couple of minor spelling and pronunciation errors, but hey, we all make mistakes, right?

That's when she came to it. A crime against all spelling and grammar: "Distastless". You are probably saying, "Huh?" just as I did when faced with this so-called adjective printed in bright purple overhead marker. This "word" was supposed to describe someone who wore excessive amounts of jewelry. A myriad of alternative adjectives ran through my mind: gauche, crass, uncouth... But no, she had chosen to create her own word. This erroneous hybrid of tasteless and distasteful was, well, distasteful.

I watched in silent horror as the children copied this offensive descriptor in their notebooks. As I cleared my throat, ready to attempt a graceful and gentle correction, I launched into a coughing fit. By the time I left the room, got a drink, and recovered, the damage was done and the class had moved on. It was probably for the best. A teacher who would use the word “distastless” would probably not take constructive criticism well.

Which leads me to this question: Shouldn’t that TV show be named “Are you smarter than a 6th grade teacher?”

Lucy

Thanks for your patience

Last I heard, Ethel was still knee deep in the stomach bug at her house (horrible visual, no?). Here, the kids have nearly fully recovered, however I am still battling their virus (My own fault - I always taught them to share). I not only have the sinus pressure and cough, I also managed to pull a muscle in my back while in the midst of a nasty coughing attack. In other words, be patient with us just a little while longer and we will be back and ranting. We have been chatting and have some interesting topics we hope to discuss very soon....

Now excuse me while I go take my medicine...

Lucy

Plague Alert

As some of you may know, Lucy has been home most of the week with two sick children suffering from sore throats and fevers. I'm sad to say that although Lucy bathed in Lysol, she is now the latest victim in this germ skirmish. However... she was most grateful to have been spared by the stomach bug that hit my house early this morning. I'll post again after I run out to buy a few cases of disinfectant and bleach...

The Thinking Blogger Award

Lucy and I would like to thank our favorite feline friend, Tomcat from Politics Plus, for giving us the Thinking Blogger Award. The award is to be passed on to 5 bloggers who cause us to really think. Because the task of only being able to choose 5 out of the many blogs we visit has proven to be extremely difficult for us... we are Lucy and Ethel after all... we decided to throw all of our favorites into a hat and draw names. So if your blog isn't listed it's because having to choose proved to be the equivalent of taking Lucy shopping in a shoe store having a going-out-of-business sale and telling her she can only buy one pair of shoes... and you know how Lucy loves shoes!!

Digging Deeper by Ivan Goldman

morning martini by pissed off patricia

preserve, protect, defend by two crows

there are a million stories by ruth

goodness graciousness by jennifer

Wishes for Elizabeth

Our thoughts are with John and Elizabeth Edwards and their children. We wish them courage, strength and tranquility...

The Verge

The First Day of the Fifth Year in Iraq

I knew it wasn’t going to be good when Lucy called to ask if I’d seen the interview Matt Lauer had done with Condi on the Today show yesterday morning. After spending several minutes convincing me that it was something that I really needed to see, I swallowed an anti-emetic to control the nausea I knew I’d soon be experiencing, took a slug of Pepto-Bismol, sat at my computer and prepared to be ill.

In case you missed it, here’s my version of the transcript:

ML: Good morning Madame Secretary.

CR: Good morning, Matthew.

ML: Madame Secretary, today is the beginning of the fifth year our country will have been in Iraq. Is the President marking this milestone in any way?

CR: Well Matt, actually the President will be forgoing his usual quiche and mimosa and will instead behaving a large bowl of Wheaties, the breakfast of champions. He will also be running an additional 5 laps around the track and spend 45 more minutes than usual in a dry sauna in a show of solidarity and respect for the exhausting job facing our brave young troops and the sometimes sweltering conditions they must endure.

[The interview cuts to the Presidents speech addressing the beginning of the fifth year of the war]

Blah blah September 11th blah Iraq blah blah blah blah blah weapons of mass destruction blah blah blah blah surge blah blah hard work blah blah blah terrorists blah blah blah Al Qaeda blah blah Saddam Hussein blah blah Spetember 11th blah blah Iran blah blah blah newkular capability blah blah blah must not cut and run blah blah blah making progress blah blah blah blah elections blah blah blah attacks blah blah blah blah evil-doers blah blah blah September 11th blah blah blah patience blah blah blah victory.

[Cut from the President’s speech back to the Lauer/ Rice interview]

ML: The President has already begun to implement the troop increase he ordered, should the American people expect to see results soon, or do you feel that the impact may be more subtle and evident only to those in diplomatic circles?

CR: Thank you for the excellent and insightful question, Matthew. The American people need to come to terms with the fact that they are simply unqualified to make an assessment of what constitutes success in Iraq. They need to sit back and leave the important task of handling this matter to the experts in our government. After all, you wouldn’t want your paperboy to be the one to attempt to disarm a dirty bomb in the middle of Times Square, would you?

[Lauer then genuflects, kissing her ring and the hem of her dress before bowing his head and slowly backing out of the room.]


Ethel