Standing By His Man : The Story of Dubya and Gonzo

Dubya and Gonzo were breaking camp under a blazing Texas sunrise, preparing for another long day of clearing brush. Peeking out at Dubya from under lowered lashes Gonzo quietly asked,"You still angry?"

Dubya strolled over to Gonzo gently cuffing him on the chin."You know I can't stay mad at you for long. There aren't very many who truly understand me the way that you do. Not even Laura."

Reassured for the moment, Gonzo began to pack the bedroll with the rest of his gear. Turning slightly away as he strapped his supplies to his pony, Gonzo inquired hesitatingly,"But what are you going to do if they keep pushing for you to fire me?"

Dubya threw an arm around Gonzo, "Don't you worry 'bout that", he drawled. "You know I can't quit you!"

The men quickly finished their packing, eager to get on with the day's work. They swung on to their mounts, Dubya's a golden palomino and Gonzo's a sprightly paint, and began the long ride to the next area of brush to be cleared. Lulled by the gentle swaying beneath him, Gonzo asked,"But what if HE wants me to go?"

Just then Cowboy Karl appeared on the horizon astride his faithful mule, Sugarplum. Dubya began to smile,"Don't you fret Gonzo, you're doing a heckuva job!" He gazed fondly at Karl as he continued his approach. "You know Gonzo, like him or not, you've gotta admit, Karl's got one mighty fine ass."




Special thanks to Lucy for working a bit of Photo-shop magic in the creation of the graphic for this post!


Ethel

Ah-ha!!!

Suddenly it's all begun to make sense to me how Dubya could have managed to ignore all those warnings of a possible attack...

E

In Case You Weren't Paying Attention

Iraq/ Iran... Tomato/ Tomoto

You Go Girl!

A float depicting U.S. President George W. Bush being spanked by the Statue Of Liberty passes by during the Rose Monday carnival parade in Mainz, Germany...hmmm, I wonder if he'd be smiling if it had been Condi? (AP Photo Bernd Kammerer)



E

Neo-Cons Beware

I had considered writing a scathing commentary on this article about the beginnings of a neo-con implosion fuelled by arrogance that's reached gargantuan proportions, but I decided it would be best to post the article and let you see it for yourselves... and while you're reading remember that precisely because net neutrality is so vital to our modern free society, it's also the reason the neo-cons want it destroyed.


Murdoch Confesses To Propaganda On Iraq

News Corpse February 5, 2007

Last Friday, at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, Rupert Murdoch sat on a panel where he lamented what he described as a “loss of power” due to the ascension of the Internet and other new media. The notion that this captain of one of the most dominant media conglomerates in the world is trembling in the shadow of bloggers is simply absurd. Especially when you consider the fact that his company is also a dominant player on the Internet with an aggressive acquisitiveness that includes MySpace, the world's largest online social networking site.

But there was a more shocking exchange that took place that ought to have caused more of a stir amongst professional journalists and all freedom loving people. It was an exchange that revealed something that most conscious beings knew, but which I have never seen explicitly articulated.
Murdoch was asked if News Corp. had managed to shape the agenda on the war in Iraq. His answer?

“No, I don't think so. We tried.” Asked by Rose for further comment, he said: “We basically supported the Bush policy in the Middle East…but we have been very critical of his execution.”
Let me repeat this: “We Tried!”

Setting aside the nonsense that they had ever been critical of Bush's adventures in Baghdad, having confessed to being deliberatly deceitful raises some questions. For instance, how can anyone ever again take seriously Fox News or any of Murdoch's other instruments of bias? How can News Corp. continue to pretend that they are “fair and balanced?” How can any other media company exhibit the slightest expression of respect or patronization?

And speaking of other media companies, where are they now? The Chairman and CEO of a media empire that includes the number one rated cable news network, and numerous newspapers around the world, has just admitted that he tried to use that empire to “shape the agenda” in support of a partisan political goal with consequences of life, death, and global destabilization. Why has the media, who you might think would have some interest in this subject, virtually ignored these remarks? We know they were there because, on the very same day, there was a media tempest over remarks by John Kerry on whether Bush had turned the U. S. into an international pariah. That trumped up commotion was led, of course, by Fox News. Even the Hollywood Reporter downplayed the most startling portion of Murdoch's presentation by headlining their story: “Big media has less sway on Internet.” They apparently felt that that was a more weighty revelation than the attempted thought-control exposed by Murdoch.
Where is the outrage? Where are the calls to disband this mammoth and unlawful propaganda machine? Murdoch, who was made an American citizen by an act of Congress because, otherwise, he could not own an American television network, should have his citizenship revoked and be deported back to Australia. Think of the precedent this sets for any other wealthy and ambitious ideologue that seeks to manipulate public opinion. There are plenty of wealthy and ambitious ideologues in the Middle East and elsewhere who may view Murdoch as a role model.

At the very least, it needs to be broadcast far and wide that News Corp. and Fox News are nothing but a tool of the neo-con operatives in government. You might say we already knew that, but this is different. We are not merely accusing them of this stance, they have now admitted it. And it can not be tolerated! Not by any standard of journalistic ethics. Not by a nation that values a free press so much that it incorporated that freedom into its Constitution.




E

Is the White House Really Just a Hologram?

I’m beginning to feel as if we’ve all been tricked into believing that the White House is in Washington, DC. I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s actually located in Miami and we’re all living in a Carl Hiassen novel (for those of you unfamiliar with Hiassen’s work, he depicts the inane and bizarre in south central Florida).

There have been several recent releases that have led me to this conclusion:

1. Tim Russert testified this week at “Scooter” Libby’s trial that Libby had not called him to “out” Joe Wilson’s wife, but to complain that White House “tool” Chris Matthews was being too tough on the administration. Too tough on the administration????? When Matthews questions members of the Bush administration it’s certainly not “Hardball with Chris Matthews”, it’s not even “softball”… I say it’s more like “t-ball”.

2. According to recent reports, our government, in its infinite wisdom, sent approximately 312 tons of shrink-wrapped $100 dollar bills in a cargo plane to Iraq… purportedly for reconstruction. As my daughters would say, “Duh”. Even the post office discourages sending cash through the mail… Now I’m no rocket scientist, but do you think this just might help to explain why some of the money we’ve spent there can’t be accounted for??

3. Before his scandal broke, the formerly fabulous Reverend Ted Haggard held weekly “prayer” meetings with President Bush. Ummmm, is that code for something that might involve leather and nipple-rings?

If I’m wrong, I guess this proves that truth actually can be stranger than fiction, and if I’m right, I only have one thing to say-- Mr. Hiassen, if you’re listening, “Heeeeellllllppppp!”




E

A Winning Strategy

The following was written by Andy Borowitz... enjoy!!!!!


February 6, 2007

Biden Returns to Campaign Trail With Duct Tape Over Mouth

New Strategy to Keep Candidate On Message

In a bold new strategy to keep his candidacy for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination on message, Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del) returned to the campaign trail today with a strip of duct tape over his mouth.

Political veterans were hard-pressed to think of a candidate who made a successful bid for his party’s nomination with a piece of duct tape sealing his mouth, an orifice generally considered necessary to emit human speech.But after their candidate stumbled out of the gate by making seemingly condescending remarks about a fellow candidate, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill), advisors to Mr. Biden seized on the duct-tape solution as the best way to hit the campaign’s reset button.“Every time Joe opens his mouth, he gets in the way of his message,” said Carol Foyler, a media advisor to the Biden campaign. “Duct-taping his mouth shut is the best way to get his message out there to the American people.”

At a town hall meeting in Davenport, Iowa, Mr. Biden seemed upbeat, offering this response to a voter’s question about Social Security: “Mmmmghfffmmmggh.”

According to Ms. Foyler, for the remainder of the 2008 campaign Mr. Biden will be relying heavily on hand gestures and the art of mime to make his case to the voters.“Biden ’08 is going to be a cross between a political campaign and Cirque du Soleil,” she said.



E

Bloggers Beware

AT&T has promised to preserve net neutrality...for the next 24 months... after that... money truly will be the only thing talking.

Breaking news... posted 1/5/07 www.computerworld.com/blogs/node/4281... FCC Chairman Kevin Martin believes net neutrality is a bad idea and states that the FCC " will oppose such policies going forward".

E

What Moved Dick To Do It?

Oliver North has been making the rounds of the TV. talk-shows joking about a sniper in Iraq who took a pot-shot at him and missed. He observes that the sniper was “obviously trained by French girl-scouts and not Dick Cheney” thereby confirming what I’ve long suspected; Ollie, White House insider, North is confirming that Dick shot his friend intentionally. The only question left unanswered now is why?

Perhaps the elderly lawyer wondered aloud what the day’s body count was in Iraq. We know Dick doesn’t like that. Or maybe he asked how Dick could be one of the architects of an administration that marginalizes gays when one of his own children is gay. (Congratulations to Dick and Lynne, by the way, on the pregnancy of their daughter Mary and her partner.) He might have even attempted friendly banter about Kellogg, Brown, and Root, part of the Halliburton family that Dick was the head of, and their involvement in human trafficking that was exposed in the Chicago Tribune’s “Pipeline to Peril”. Dick couldn’t have been too pleased about the potential negative impact to the companies’ bottom line. Having to actually house people humanely and pay them fairly? Dick’s blood had to have been boiling. Maybe while belting one back before going out with loaded weapons Dick’s pal brought up the pesky fact that a large percentage of Americans seem to be coming out of their terror-induced stupors. Or could it have simply been that Dick was driven to shoot his buddy in a jealous rage fueled by his chum’s flawlessly smooth complexion?

While we may never know what it was that triggered the shooting, we can at least rest assured that if Dick shoots at you he does it well, unlike that namby-pamby sniper. And if you don’t believe that, you don’t know Dick.

And Dick, just a suggestion, guys with reputations like yours should really insist on being called Richard.

E