Happy To Be Back!!!

I'm checking in to let everyone know that I'm still alive and kicking ( no black uniformed Blackwater contractors have come to carry me off in the middle of the night... yet). As Lucy let you all know I've been buried beneath seemingly endless renovation projects filled with glitches (the full gallon of $50 fume free lavender paint that caused about $700 in replaced carpet and pad... we still haven't had the antique dresser refinished... sigh). Unfortunately we've had to try to finish as much as possible before my husband leaves for a three month long class in Alabama in a few weeks.

I was also recruited by the Learning Disability Association near the end of April to do some public speaking to help with fundraising and spent much of my first several weeks away writing and re-writing my speech. I spent an equal amount of time in those weeks pacing frantically and trying to control my nausea as I obsessed about how much I dislike speaking in front of large groups of people.

In the middle of all that our youngest daughter's school went through a change in administration. The new folks in charge felt it was time to shift from focusing on teaching gifted children ( after all there aren't that many statistically speaking and they're more expensive to educate) to "saving" them. Are the hairs standing up on the back of your neck yet??? Yep, her wonderful school will be a fundie christian school next year. Needless to say we declined to stick around for the brainwashing. Unfortunately, this meant we had to find a new school and fast. Thankfully we were able to find one that should work well for her. They don't participate in the standardized testing craze and.. hold onto your hats... they actually encourage critical thinking. I'll keep you updated on the efficacy of this revolutionary approach.

Since then it's been a typical whirlwind of end of the school year chaos and the fact that if I try to sit at the computer for longer than 30 seconds it seems to trigger various catastrophes accompanied by the plaintive cry of "Mooooooommmmmmm" that require my immediate attention. I'm hoping that in between taxiing my kids to their various classes, life guarding at the pool, supervising crafting activities and my general refereeing duties that I should be able to begin writing on a fairly regular basis again and taking some much needed strolls through the blogosphere. I look forward to visiting you all soon!!!

Ethel

A Poem by Lucy's 13 year old Son

My son was inspired to write the following poem. I found it pretty amusing because he is honest to a fault....

Cheaters never win they say,
I've come to hear that much,
But everything I've cheated for,
Has come into my clutch.
From books and games and magazines,
and all the toys galore,
Getting all these things just makes
me want to cheat some more.
So "Cheaters never win" those words,
they put me in such pain,
When the truth of the matter is,
That cheaters always gain.

MIA

We are sorry to be absent for so much of June, but we are literally on the go all the time. Please bear with us and we will return as soon as we can!

Where's Ethel?

Not to worry... Ethel is slightly overwhelmed with her kids' year end school activities/exams as well as some ill-fated home improvement projects. She sends her love and will be back ranting as soon as she gets the lavender paint spill off of the antique dresser... Looooong story.


Lucy

Tyra Banks, Worst Role Model... Ever

In April, Tyra Banks was photographed on a beach. She was wearing a swimsuit and had *gasp* cellulite. Tabloid headlines screamed that the supermodel had gained weight. The unflattering pics were splattered across every cover in the checkout aisle. Did Tyra just take it? Nope.

Tyra went public with her weight: 165 lbs. She orchestrated her own onslaught of tabloid covers with a more flattering picture of herself in a swimsuit. She dedicated an episode of her talk show to feeling good about yourself, regardless of weight. Tyra and her "So What?" campaign were champions of women. Great, right?


6 weeks later Tyra was again on magazine covers. This time the headlines screeched: "How Tyra Got Slim!" and "Tyra sheds 30 pounds in 6 weeks!" She is in a green bikini and grinning. Apparently she didn't listen to her own message about feeling good about yourself. Apparently that was all spin. Apparently, although we don't put a whole lot of stock in what she says anyway, we shouldn't bother to listen at all now.

Way to be a role model, Tyra.

Lucy

I'm onto you, Oprah!

Oprah, all powerful media goddess, is up to something.... And I think it's a hidden agenda and alliance with the Pharmaceutical industry. She has gone to great lengths to encourage us to read The Road by Cormac McCarthy, which she has said she is "passionate" about. I heard she told Larry King that it was an "inspirational father-son story" and like nothing she has ever read before.

If "inspiration" is what I was supposed to find, I must have gotten a bum copy. I read the The Road, and by the end of this bleak, depressing saga I was onto Oprah's tricks. In what must be a covert deal with drug companies, Oprah is choosing the most depressing books she can get her hands on. As readers sink into despair, they will seek out the help of antidepressant drugs from their physicians. Ah, how I love a good conspiracy theory.

Just watch... Future editions of many of Oprah's picks (see The Road, The Book of Ruth, Map of the World, etc.) will come with a special edition Prozac trial prescription bookmark in every copy and mini-therapy sessions with Dr. Phil in the "afterwords".

I'm onto you, Oprah....

Lucy