Monday, January 22, 2007

Enough with the "BUMP"

As I stood in the supermarket line, I perused the various magazines on display. I admit to being an entertainment magazine junkie (guily pleasure). However, as I scanned the latest rags, I was assaulted with the headlines screaming about "baby bumps" for no less than five female celebrities.

The cover of In Touch screams "Friends worry Britney's pregnant" and inside goes on to show this unflattering photo:

This was accompanied by a caption speculating that she is covering up a "bump". Other mags suggested that Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Angelina Jolie are all sporting "bumps".

Okay, are these articles all written by men? We are women. We have curves. Just because someone's abdomen isn't concave does not mean we are pregnant. Sometimes we wear layers, sometimes we stand in an unflattering way, sometimes we are carrying evidence of that extra candy bar, and sometimes we are bloated, damn it!

Get over the "bump" thing and get back to what's really important: What star is adopting a child from a third world country this week?



two crows said...

hey, Women--
I confess--I don't know who most of those people you mentioned ARE.
well, of course, I know Britney's name. anyone who doesn't live under a rock, knows her name. but who the hell IS she? and why does she rate all this publicity or angst or whatever?
ditto with all the other people you mentioned.

used to be, in order to get this kind of publicity, you had to know how to act ---- or sing and dance ---- or something.

Women on the Verge said...

Well, two crows, apparently all you need to do to be considered a celebrity is: not wear your underwear, get divorced, party... a lot, adopt a child from an impoverished country, or in any other way publicly air your personal and often sordid affairs.

FYI, once upon a time, Brit was a cute, wholesome singer. That was a loooong time ago.

two crows said...

thanks, women--
I get such an education on the internet. :)

I wonder -- if I did all those things------
nah, I'd probably just get arrested. . . .

Gene Bach said...

Most of the people on the covers of those magazines, male OR female, should never be allowed to reproduce. That, by itself, leads to deevolution. LOL!

canadian idiot said...

Here's what really makes me sick about this baby bump crap -

Most of the these bump watch celebs have criminal records (DUI etc), a couple stints in rehab, a history of cutting themselves and their lovers and wearing their blood around their necks, exposing labia in public...etc etc etc...and once these slutty women finally get knocked up and/or adopt a herd of kids from a foreign 3rd world country, everyone seems to forget how stupid these people are and simply fixate on the potentially crack addicted underweight fetus growing inside...and how fast mommy loses the weight after giving birth (more crack cocaine???)

Why is a baby bump breaking news, and the death of a soldier or cure for a disease trumped by yet another Tommy Lee Pam Anderson reunion?

Why? Why? Why?

They should change CNN to Celebrity News Network...and Glamour, Cosmo, and Mademoiselle to "Cheap Trailer Trash Bump Watch Weekly"

okay I feel better now.