Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The First Day of the Fifth Year in Iraq

I knew it wasn’t going to be good when Lucy called to ask if I’d seen the interview Matt Lauer had done with Condi on the Today show yesterday morning. After spending several minutes convincing me that it was something that I really needed to see, I swallowed an anti-emetic to control the nausea I knew I’d soon be experiencing, took a slug of Pepto-Bismol, sat at my computer and prepared to be ill.

In case you missed it, here’s my version of the transcript:

ML: Good morning Madame Secretary.

CR: Good morning, Matthew.

ML: Madame Secretary, today is the beginning of the fifth year our country will have been in Iraq. Is the President marking this milestone in any way?

CR: Well Matt, actually the President will be forgoing his usual quiche and mimosa and will instead behaving a large bowl of Wheaties, the breakfast of champions. He will also be running an additional 5 laps around the track and spend 45 more minutes than usual in a dry sauna in a show of solidarity and respect for the exhausting job facing our brave young troops and the sometimes sweltering conditions they must endure.

[The interview cuts to the Presidents speech addressing the beginning of the fifth year of the war]

Blah blah September 11th blah Iraq blah blah blah blah blah weapons of mass destruction blah blah blah blah surge blah blah hard work blah blah blah terrorists blah blah blah Al Qaeda blah blah Saddam Hussein blah blah Spetember 11th blah blah Iran blah blah blah newkular capability blah blah blah must not cut and run blah blah blah making progress blah blah blah blah elections blah blah blah attacks blah blah blah blah evil-doers blah blah blah September 11th blah blah blah patience blah blah blah victory.

[Cut from the President’s speech back to the Lauer/ Rice interview]

ML: The President has already begun to implement the troop increase he ordered, should the American people expect to see results soon, or do you feel that the impact may be more subtle and evident only to those in diplomatic circles?

CR: Thank you for the excellent and insightful question, Matthew. The American people need to come to terms with the fact that they are simply unqualified to make an assessment of what constitutes success in Iraq. They need to sit back and leave the important task of handling this matter to the experts in our government. After all, you wouldn’t want your paperboy to be the one to attempt to disarm a dirty bomb in the middle of Times Square, would you?

[Lauer then genuflects, kissing her ring and the hem of her dress before bowing his head and slowly backing out of the room.]



pissed off patricia said...

You gave a great mental picture of what I am sure it was like. I could even hear condi's voice in my head as I read your post.

I didn't see the interview and I consider myself lucky. I also missed bush's blah blah when it was first on.

I did hear later he wants us to be patient. He's wants us to calm down and just wait while more people are killed every day.

TomCat said...

Sounds like the usual MSM pandering to Bu$hCo

Deb said...

Have you notice if you add a few letters how easily BUSH becomes BUllSHit.

My mind sets on fire when any of them speak.

two crows said...

Condi to the American People--in fact to the world:
'DON'T you worry your pretty little heads....'

Flimsy Sanity said...

Matt Lauer is such a Republican toady - you are perfectly right. I am glad network news is losing audience to the net - sometimes the free market economy actually works.

MichaelBains said...

[Lauer then genuflects, kissing her ring and the hem of her dress ...]

So where is this being performed? It's got to be theater 1 act with at least 4 actors. That's how I read it anyhow.

Could be a winner!

PoliShifter said...

Oh man...I can't tell reality from fantasy anymore...

Women on the Verge said...


Consider yourself lucky that you missed the speech and interview... I wretched for hours afterward...


Yep.. we're caught in a continuous loop.



two crows-

That's EXACTLY what I got... it's like watching The Wizard of Oz... pay no attention to the man behind the curtain...


That's exactly why I'm so worried they're going to start a full frontal assault on the net... can't have any of that pesky truth leaking out...


While I was writing it I was imagining a Saturday Night Live skit... can you just picture it??


( I can't tell reality from fantasy

That's cause it's actually a nightmare...


Larry Jones said...

To think they were talking about President Condoleeza just a few months ago. At this point I think even Republican voters would want to get as far away as possible from anything that smells like this administration.

Women on the Verge said...

yep... and we're still trying to pinpoint the exact source of the odor... at this point, the whole Whit House may have to be fumigated.


Mando Mama said...

lol--E, you SHOULD be writing for Saturday Night Live.

Truth be told, The Leaning Tower of Condoleeza is just one of the scariest people walking the earth. Rumsfeld was my least favorite, now it's a draw between Rove and Cheney. But that chicken-necked woman is really damn smart, and she's mean, and unhappy. She's just a timebomb with legs.

Women on the Verge said...

m mama-

I've got to agree with you about Condi... she is one scary individual. That evil skank-eye thing she does is something else, isn't it??


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