Next Week's Entertainment News?

While perusing the entertainment magazines in the checkout line, covers all showing Anna Nicole and Britney in various forms of distress, I was struck by the next tragedies that will most certainly hit newsstands next week. This is how I imagine the headlines:

In an effort to regain unflattering portraits on magazine covers, Lindsay Lohan today shaved her head while flashing her lack of underwear to reporters and vehemently denying permission to perform DNA tests on her daughter. When told she has no daughter, Lohan assaulted the Star reporter with a Kabalah bracelet clad hand, leaving an imprint of an AA 3 month medal (which, incidentally can be purchased on ebay – I am not kidding). Tearfully announcing her return to rehab, journalists reminded Lindsay that technically she hasn’t really been committed to a rehab facility, thus cannot “return”. She has been out daily, not only for work, but for clubbing. Realizing she is Britney-lite, Lindsay wanders off looking for a childhood friend or bad rapper to marry on a whim, wondering aloud how hard it is to catch anorexia.

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Ron Paul - Gulf of Tonkin

As a new report from Seymour Hersh is released indicating that not only is our government engaged in detailed planning for a possible springtime attack on Iran, President Bush is asking for a 24 hour contingency plan that would allow him to call for a strike on one afternoon and have it implemented by the next. The type of contrived incident Ron Paul warns against makes this all the more terrifying... Call your representatives and tell them to " JUST SAY NO " to an attack on Iran.


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Shaking My Head in Disbelief

It is a sad week when Britney Spears has to shave her head to knock Anna Nicole Smith off the covers of the tabloids. Enough said.
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The HPV Vaccine-- What They Don't Want You To Know

Before I begin, let me first say that I am not a doctor, nor am I an employee of a rival pharmaceutical company. I’m a mom to two young girls, determined to do whatever I can to ensure their safety. When it comes to Big Pharma I am an admitted cynic. With the push (temporarily abandoned) to mandate the Gardasil vaccine, I felt it was my duty to my kids to check out the claims concerning the new HPV – human papilloma virus- vaccine. The following represents a portion of what I found with just a bit of research.

There are, depending upon the source, anywhere between 120 and 300 strains of HPV. Of these, there are 15 strains of the cancer causing type. Merck’s vaccine, Gardasil, targets 4 strains of HPV, two that are the cancer causing type—HPV types 16 and 18, and two targeted strains that cause genital warts. So out of the 15 strains that can cause cancer, the vaccine only protects against two… does that seem like good odds to you?

I then moved on to read the patient insert which is available through the FDA and Merck websites. In its own literature Merck states, “Cervical cancer prevention focuses on routine screening and early intervention. This strategy has reduced cervical cancer rates by 75% in compliant individuals by monitoring and removing pre-malignant dysplastic lesions.” Okay Merck, why then do we need to buy this vaccine if our daughters can avoid cervical cancer by getting yearly pap smears and having any abnormal cells frozen off?

The theory behind mandated vaccination is to prevent highly communicable and potentially fatal diseases like diphtheria, whooping cough, measles and small pox from decimating the population, or at the very least, from reaching pandemic proportions. HPV is a sexually transmitted disease. It is not airborne. It cannot be transmitted through casual contact. If a young woman is sexually active, why not just advocate the use of a condom which would protect her from STD’s as well as unwanted pregnancy?

Additionally, Gardasil, much like the varicella vaccine given for chicken pox, only provides peak protection for approximately 5 years before it begins to lose its effectiveness. It typically takes 10 to 15 years for HPV to develop into cancer with most women developing cervical cancer in their 40’s. Remember, the girls in the targeted range for this vaccine are 9-12 year olds. A nine year old receiving this vaccine would be effectively shielded for five years, until the age of fourteen. If that girl is then exposed to the virus, say at the age of seventeen, when she is most at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, the vaccine will be beyond peak protection and offer little, if any, shield against the virus. Will this young girl, operating under a false sense of security, be less likely to have the yearly Pap smear that could detect abnormal cell growth?

And then, consider this—the HPV vaccine is the first vaccine to use a genetically modified live cancer virus. Making matters worse, this drug, tested on 20,000 16-26 year old women, was never tested for efficacy in individuals within the targeted age range of 9-12 year olds. Added to this is the fact that this 20,000 person test group was about half the size of the test groups used to demonstrate safety of other vaccines, like Prevnar, the vaccine used to prevent ear infections.

And then there are the side effects. Since being introduced in June 2006 there have been 385 side effects serious enough to be reported to VAERS (the federal Vaccine Adverse Reporting System). There are experts who estimate that fewer than 10% of adverse events occurring after the use of a prescription drug or vaccine are ever reported to this governmental reporting system. You do the math. If only 10% were reported there could have been as many as 3,800 adverse reactions within the first six months of use that were never reported. Of the 385 adverse events, two-thirds required additional medical care with one-third in children 16 and under. The Center for Disease Control is reporting side-effects involving massive auto-immune responses. Medical News Today quotes NVIC ( National Vaccine Information Center, a vaccine watch-dog group) President Barbara Loe Fisher, “ Because Merck only studied Gardasil in fewer than 1,200 girls under the age of 16… it is critical that doctors and parents be made aware of the nature of the initial adverse events reports… There are twice as many children collapsing and four times as many children experience tingling and numbness [as those receiving the DTaP]. There have been reports of facial paralysis and Guillain-Barre Syndrome. Any doctors who give Gardasil in combination with other vaccines (other than Hepatitis B) are basically conducting experiments on their young patients…”

Fainting episodes are so common that doctors are now being advised to inoculate their patients while they are lying down. “About 4 reports per day were filed with VAERS in December 2006 for the HPV vaccine,” said NVIC Health Policy Analyst Vicky Debold R.N. PhD, as quoted in Medical News Today. “Some of these girls are getting injured when they collapse after receiving the vaccine and others are complaining of neurological symptoms that should not be ignored… To avoid unnecessary injuries, teenage girls should be vaccinated lying down, not be left unattended, and probably should not walk or drive themselves home from the doctor’s office after they get vaccinated. “

Medical News Today also reports that in a May 18, 2006 report, the FDA staff stated that Merck clinical trial data indicated “…a potential for Gardasil to enhance cervical disease in subjects who had evidence of persistent infection with relevant HPV types prior to vaccination.” Young girls and women now receiving the vaccine are not tested for active HPV infection before vaccination thereby leaving them vulnerable to the vaccine actually causing them to develop cancer.

Barbara Loe Fisher articulates the concerns regarding this vaccine, “How many girls are really having short-term health problems associated with this vaccine that could turn into long-term neurological or immune system disorders? And how many will go on to develop fertility problems, cancer, or damage to their genes, all of which Merck admits in its product insert that it has not studied at all? We just don’t know enough to be mandating Gardasil for anyone, much less 11 to 12 year old girls entering puberty.”

So let’s review, Gardasil doesn’t offer long-term cervical cancer protection, it doesn’t protect against all the cancer causing HPV strains, it has potentially serious side-effects, it could actually increase the incidence of cervical cancer in certain instances, and no one knows whether there will be long-term neurological or genetic damage as a result of being vaccinated.

If all of that doesn’t make you think twice, do a Google search of the bill Senator Bill Frist sponsored, nick-named “Bioshield Two”, that effectively stripped the public of its right to sue the manufacturer of a mandated vaccine. If you knew that a car manufacturer could never be sued for allowing serious safety defects would you purchase one of their cars? Will you let a pharmaceutical company convince you to inject your daughters with a genetically modified live cancer virus knowing that the company has little legal incentive, if the vaccine becomes mandated, to guarantee the safety of your child??? For me, the answer is easy…

Other sources of interest:

Cancer Virus Vaccine Targets Wrong Age Group - Washington Times

Merck's Gardasil Vaccine Not Proven Safe For Little Girls

Merck and FDA "Not Completely Honest"

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You Go Girl!

A float depicting U.S. President George W. Bush being spanked by the Statue Of Liberty passes by during the Rose Monday carnival parade in Mainz, Germany...hmmm, I wonder if he'd be smiling if it had been Condi? (AP Photo Bernd Kammerer)



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I'm still LOST

I watched Lost last evening, waiting for the reveal of "Three of the Biggest Mysteries Answered", or something to that effect. I'm still baffled. Perhaps even more confused than previously.

Last week's episode featuring Desmond was much better, although it left me saying, "Huh?" numerous times throughout. For comments that may contain spoilers, click "Read more..."

So last night we saw the story of Jack's tattoos. For me, it didn't seem to tell us much that we didn't already know. He is a leader, he is ambivalent, his tattoos and the experience surrounding them confirms it. Got it. Big ho-hum. More intriguing is the appearance of Stewardess Cindy and the children, all of whom were taken by the Others in Season 1. Her cryptic comment, "We're here to watch," left me wishing the episode had focused more on that story than on Jack's inking. Personally, I have assumed that those taken by the Others were alive and being used in some nefarious way, so seeing them wasn't really a big shocker either.

So the 3 big reveals? I guess it was the translation of Jack's tattoos, " You walk among us but you are not one of us," or something to that effect; the fact that the Taken from flight 815 are alive and supposedly living a life better than the survivors; and .... um... I don't know. What's the third question answered? Can anyone help me out here?

I Finally Figured It Out!

I finally figured out how to format my posts that may contain spoilers for TV shows or other media. Unbelievable how long it took me, I know, and annie and ramani did a wonderful job with the hacks. Annie deserves a huge hug for putting up with my bumbling. I really encourage you to visit their blogs for great hacks, info, and advice: http://bloggeruniversity.blogspot.com/ and http://hackosphere.blogspot.com/index.html.

From this point forward, any spoilers will be hidden behind the "Read More" link. An unfortunate glitch is that the link appears whether or not there something recorded there. To circumvent frustration from having you click on Read More and finding nothing more, we will indicate within the post when there actually is more. As soon as a fix is available I will spend several days swearing and bumbling trying to fix it.

So here's a test of the "Read More" link:

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If you are reading this, it works.... If not, I've screwed it up again!

Just a short post today to ask that you help Ruth of “ There Must Be A Million Stories” in her blogging event to benefit the Clatterbridge Cancer Center . Please help this incredible woman and her husband, Mick, as they try to reach their goal of 100 comments. It’s as easy as clicking on the link. Not only will you be helping a worthy cause, but you’ll get the opportunity to get to know these two amazing and inspiring souls.

With love from The Verge

Feb 20:

Thank you so much to all those who visited Ruth and Mick and helped them reach their goal!

It Was Supposed to Be a Little Scary

I took the family to our dentist for our semi-annual check-up and cleaning. I thought we would be in and out with gleaming smiles and an appointment card for June. We have gone to the same dentist for years. My kids love him and trust him. None of us is apprehensive about a visit to Dr. Gary.

My first clue that all was not going as planned was when I passed my middle son (age13) in the hall and he didn't smile... he just grunted. I continued to the exam room and assumed it was just a particularly nasty attack with the tartar hook until Gary sat down and said, "He has 3 cavities." According to my youngest, who was having his cleaning in the next cubicle, I gasped in a loud, shocked, horrified manner. I was stunned. We are generally very conscientious about oral hygiene so this was really a surprise.

Gary went on to explain that I would need to make two appointments for the filling of these cavities. Since this was my son's first experience with this sort of procedure, Gary wanted it to be minimally traumatic. He promised to give the boy some laughing gas and Novocain and to be very gentle. Considering my son's intense fear of needles and pain, I was dreading all of this.

It took about a week to get the first appointment. It felt like an eternity. I met the initial complaints and expressions of fear with great compassion and calming words. By the time the appointment rolled around I was getting tired of him complaining and trying to avoid admitting that this happened because of his lax brushing habits. 'Oh, honey, don't worry, it will be fine' nearly turned into 'Suck it up and brush your teeth better so we don't have to go through this again.’

The silent ride to the office was heartbreaking. I wished I could relieve his anxiety, but nothing I said calmed him. With great trepidation, I watched Dr. Gary walk my son down the hall with his arm around his shoulders. Thirty long minutes later my son emerged with a loopy grin plastered on his face. Dr. Gary told us that he had done fine and two of the three cavities had been filled. So that this didn’t become a harrowing ordeal, we were to schedule another appointment so the job could be finished.

In the van on the way home, I told him that it would all be over in a few weeks and then he could move on. I gave a short, yet eloquent, speech on the importance of oral hygiene and the avoidance of the dentist’s drill. As I paused, ready to commend him on his bravery, he interrupted. “Mom, I liiiiike that gas stuff,” he giggled.

So the following weeks were not worrisome. Today he had his last cavity filled and again enjoyed a lovely high courtesy of Dr. Gary. Herein lies the rub. He really did like the gas. A lot. In fact I overheard him telling his brothers that the whole “cavity thing” wasn’t a big deal at all.

As empathetic as Dr. Gary is, I wished he had managed to be just slightly more menacing; just a little scare to be filed away in association with tooth decay in my son’s memory. Instead, the boy has no fear of further dental work.

In other words, the whole experience was so much fun he may never brush his teeth again. So, Gary thanks for your kindness. You meant well. But maybe next time, could you throw in an evil laugh or something?






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Neo-Cons Beware

I had considered writing a scathing commentary on this article about the beginnings of a neo-con implosion fuelled by arrogance that's reached gargantuan proportions, but I decided it would be best to post the article and let you see it for yourselves... and while you're reading remember that precisely because net neutrality is so vital to our modern free society, it's also the reason the neo-cons want it destroyed.


Murdoch Confesses To Propaganda On Iraq

News Corpse February 5, 2007

Last Friday, at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, Rupert Murdoch sat on a panel where he lamented what he described as a “loss of power” due to the ascension of the Internet and other new media. The notion that this captain of one of the most dominant media conglomerates in the world is trembling in the shadow of bloggers is simply absurd. Especially when you consider the fact that his company is also a dominant player on the Internet with an aggressive acquisitiveness that includes MySpace, the world's largest online social networking site.

But there was a more shocking exchange that took place that ought to have caused more of a stir amongst professional journalists and all freedom loving people. It was an exchange that revealed something that most conscious beings knew, but which I have never seen explicitly articulated.
Murdoch was asked if News Corp. had managed to shape the agenda on the war in Iraq. His answer?

“No, I don't think so. We tried.” Asked by Rose for further comment, he said: “We basically supported the Bush policy in the Middle East…but we have been very critical of his execution.”
Let me repeat this: “We Tried!”

Setting aside the nonsense that they had ever been critical of Bush's adventures in Baghdad, having confessed to being deliberatly deceitful raises some questions. For instance, how can anyone ever again take seriously Fox News or any of Murdoch's other instruments of bias? How can News Corp. continue to pretend that they are “fair and balanced?” How can any other media company exhibit the slightest expression of respect or patronization?

And speaking of other media companies, where are they now? The Chairman and CEO of a media empire that includes the number one rated cable news network, and numerous newspapers around the world, has just admitted that he tried to use that empire to “shape the agenda” in support of a partisan political goal with consequences of life, death, and global destabilization. Why has the media, who you might think would have some interest in this subject, virtually ignored these remarks? We know they were there because, on the very same day, there was a media tempest over remarks by John Kerry on whether Bush had turned the U. S. into an international pariah. That trumped up commotion was led, of course, by Fox News. Even the Hollywood Reporter downplayed the most startling portion of Murdoch's presentation by headlining their story: “Big media has less sway on Internet.” They apparently felt that that was a more weighty revelation than the attempted thought-control exposed by Murdoch.
Where is the outrage? Where are the calls to disband this mammoth and unlawful propaganda machine? Murdoch, who was made an American citizen by an act of Congress because, otherwise, he could not own an American television network, should have his citizenship revoked and be deported back to Australia. Think of the precedent this sets for any other wealthy and ambitious ideologue that seeks to manipulate public opinion. There are plenty of wealthy and ambitious ideologues in the Middle East and elsewhere who may view Murdoch as a role model.

At the very least, it needs to be broadcast far and wide that News Corp. and Fox News are nothing but a tool of the neo-con operatives in government. You might say we already knew that, but this is different. We are not merely accusing them of this stance, they have now admitted it. And it can not be tolerated! Not by any standard of journalistic ethics. Not by a nation that values a free press so much that it incorporated that freedom into its Constitution.




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Catholic Mass...

Dane Cook has it pegged. Sadly, it's hilarious.
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The Dance

I am not a perfect parent. I’ve made many mistakes, but due to the amazing resilience of children my daughters seem no worse for the wear. And every once in a while something wonderful will happen, like finding a rose blooming beneath a blanket of snow, that makes the trials and tribulations of parenthood all worthwhile.

As she's gotten older, my pre-teen daughter has begun navigating that age-old peer group dance where one small misstep and the consequences can be devastating. The most recent disruption in this choreographed production involved a young girl my daughter has known for 6 years. After an incredibly rocky beginning, the girls made peace and developed a genuine bond. My daughter, even at that tender age, stood by her friend as best she could through her parents’ volatile divorce and ensuing drama. Things have not been easy for this little girl and, due to this, she has not always made it easy for my daughter to be her friend.

Recently, I thought the situation had reached the point of no return. This little girl lashed out and accused my daughter of carrying out an act completely uncharacteristic of her… an act of pure malice. My daughter was angry and incredibly hurt. She felt that anyone who truly knew her would know that she was incapable of carrying out such an act. The armed camps lasted for weeks and both girls were miserable, but equally stubborn in their positions.

A few days ago it appeared that a truce had been reached as the two girls chatted happily on the phone. When they hung up I quipped, “So she decided to forgive you?” And then my 12 year old daughter turned toward me, a solemn expression on her beautiful face, “Actually Mom, I‘ve been thinking about how she brags an awful lot, and how sometimes she’ll exaggerate to make herself sound cool to the other kids… and then I started thinking about how lucky I am to have my family. I know I can always depend on you and Dad…I can trust you. And then I thought about how her dad says really mean things to her and how she can’t trust him, and how she has to deal with having to move so much…She didn’t decide to forgive me Mom, I decided to forgive her.”

It’s in moments like those that I close my eyes in gratitude, thankful for the knowledge that although I’m not a perfect parent, I must’ve gotten at least a few things right.









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Question of the Day....

Questions for Our Readers

A few days ago I asked if anyone would be interested in my views on certain TV shows. Thanks to those who responded! I plan to discuss Lost, House, and others during the coming weeks.

This is where the question comes in: I know that some of you, in other parts of the world, may be in different places as far as episodes aired. I would love to know if:

A) Where are you in terms of seasons/episodes of the series you watch?
B) Do you wish this to be spoiler free?
C) Would you like potential spoilers to be hidden (linked to)?

Off to re-watch my tape of Lost from last night! Gotta go frame by frame for that... um... hmm... guess I'll wait to hear from you before I say!



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Cause You Don't Know Better

The proactive steps our government has taken toward protecting its citizens have finally begun to have a trickle down effect on our society. Thank goodness. How this country and its people ever survived for over two hundred years without someone in authority stepping in to protect us from ourselves, I’ll never know.

Much like those tags you find on hair dryers warning that it should not be used while in the bath or shower, officials at a Rhode Island Catholic elementary school have come together to prevent an equally dangerous practice… talking while eating. After three incidents of children choking in the cafeteria, the St. Rose of Lima School has instituted a ban prohibiting talking during lunch. Officials say that while none of the incidents were serious, the ban was enacted to ensure student safety. In a masterful move demonstrating both insight and wisdom, the school deemed that a silent lunch would ensure teachers would be able to identify a choking child in time to administer the Heimlich maneuver… after all, they can’t be expected to merely watch for children clutching their throats and coughing while turning a distressing shade of blue.

Their proactive action has inspired me to come up with a few suggestions of my own:

--From this point forward, I urge that all eye make-up should be outlawed… someone could sneeze while applying it and put an eye out.

--All razors should be banned in order to prevent any accidental decapitations.

--Any paper product that might potentially cause a paper cut should be banned. Not only do paper cuts hurt like the dickens, but they could possibly become infected, perhaps developing into gangrene and thereby leading to the chance that an individual just might run the risk of losing a limb.

--Henceforth, we should be required to eat using only our hands. Yes it will be messy and inconvenient, but we can’t allow every Tom, Dick and Harry access to forks and knives due to their potential use as weaponry. And sorry, but spoons are out too. Remember that twenty-something woman in Australia who got a spoon lodged in her throat in a fit of giggling?

--And last but not least, showers and baths should be outlawed unless the shower or tub is retro-fitted with rubber walls and flooring (which will be provided by the government for a nominal fee) AND provided that the individual wears strap-on suction cups to prevent the possibility of slipping on a wet floor.

I realize that following these suggestions will mean we’ll be a messy, hairy, stinky lot, but losing a few more conveniences and personal luxuries in order to ensure our safety is a trade well worth making… isn’t it?






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Pets On The Verge: Part Two

After my initial fish episode, one would think I had learned my lesson...

About seven years ago, my husband was traveling out of the country a lot for work and it always threw the kids into a tailspin. This particular trip's goodbye evoked hysteria and running down the street behind his car in tears. The usual medicine, a movie with a huge popcorn covered in butteroid with sugary soda, did nothing to assuage the pain. On the way home, the tears started again, accompanied by the whimpered pleas for a pet.

I had resisted for years, knowing that I just don't have time for walking, feeding, poop scooping, and whatever else. I already had 5 people's needs to meet and adding a pet just didn't do it for me. But... we stopped at the pet store. One small bowl and two goldfish later, we came home. Note that I wasn't going for a full tank and tropical-potentially-cannibal fish this time.

As you can imagine, Gumby and Pokey were the highlight of the house... for about a week. But hey, they don't require a lot of care and how long do goldfish live, anyway? Yeah. The fish are still here.

In their too small bowl with rocks and a replica of the Parthenon, they continue to swim in circles. It's my fault. I let the bowl deteriorate until it resembles Lake Ontario before I clean it. I think I have boosted their resistance. Gumby has cataracts and Pokey is no longer gold - apparently even goldfish go gray in old age, but they continue to be quite spry, splashing constantly.

One morning recently, my husband discovered Gumby on the floor. He had made an escape attempt! Once deposited back into "the Lake" he was fine, but we have to keep the bowl covered with the sandbox sand strainer to deter any more jailbreaks. Was it a "Finding Nemo" moment or a suicide attempt? I'm not sure, but I cleaned the bowl and replaced the Parthenon with the Rocky Mountains. Hey, even I get crazy when I need a vacation...

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Pets on the Verge, Part One

I have nothing against pets. I grew up with cats and dogs and loved them. As an adult, before kids, I was working and didn't want to take on the responsibility of a pet. Once I had kids... well, I had kids. Who needs a pet when you have three little boys running around in various stages of potty training (which often evolves into potty mouth - a topic for another day)?

When my kids were very little they saved their birthday money for an aquarium. We went to the pet store and came home with a ten gallon tank and all the requisite paraphenalia, along with ten tropical fish.

Shortly thereafter, we found ourselves in a situation that required us to move to Boston for the summer. I dutifully asked the pet store what to do and triumphantly purchased several vacation feeders and handed them to my neighbor.

My neighbor did as instructed and dropped a feeder into the tank once a week. She told me that it was getting green in there, but I knew she had three kids and I was NOT going to ask her to do anything more than she was already doing.

Upon arrival home, I discovered long, flowing moss and algae. It was really disgusting. I could only locate two fish in the mess. I scooped them out into a plastic container and took the tank outside where I proceded to scrub and scrub and scrub and scrub... you get the idea. When I came inside for some more paper towels, I found the two survivors on the counter next to bowl I had placed them in. With a sigh of disappointment tainted with relief, I flushed them.

That's when the little black one started to swim. Against the current. Suddenly it was all clear. This little bugger had killed and eaten his roommates! That's why I couldn't find any other remains! And on the counter, the other fish was trying to escape a similar fate and the black one followed him over the edge in a homicidal, carnivorous rage! Oh, he was a devil fish, no doubt. So I flushed again.

Maybe it was a little cruel, but I was not taking that evil deviant fish back into my home... besides, he'd been in the toilet... ewwwwwwwwww! So I flushed again, and that damn malignant beast kept swimming against the current! I was getting really creeped out.

It took four or five flushes to send him away. I felt a little guilty at the time, but justified it as the death penalty for a fish who had obviously killed nine others, and most likely cannibalized eight of them. The guilt eased over time, but I continued to have a twinge now and then. Thank God for Finding Nemo. Thanks, Walt Disney, for telling me that "all drains lead to the ocean".

The only problem is that if that fish is in the ocean... Jaws doesn't seem all that scary anymore.








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Is the White House Really Just a Hologram?

I’m beginning to feel as if we’ve all been tricked into believing that the White House is in Washington, DC. I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s actually located in Miami and we’re all living in a Carl Hiassen novel (for those of you unfamiliar with Hiassen’s work, he depicts the inane and bizarre in south central Florida).

There have been several recent releases that have led me to this conclusion:

1. Tim Russert testified this week at “Scooter” Libby’s trial that Libby had not called him to “out” Joe Wilson’s wife, but to complain that White House “tool” Chris Matthews was being too tough on the administration. Too tough on the administration????? When Matthews questions members of the Bush administration it’s certainly not “Hardball with Chris Matthews”, it’s not even “softball”… I say it’s more like “t-ball”.

2. According to recent reports, our government, in its infinite wisdom, sent approximately 312 tons of shrink-wrapped $100 dollar bills in a cargo plane to Iraq… purportedly for reconstruction. As my daughters would say, “Duh”. Even the post office discourages sending cash through the mail… Now I’m no rocket scientist, but do you think this just might help to explain why some of the money we’ve spent there can’t be accounted for??

3. Before his scandal broke, the formerly fabulous Reverend Ted Haggard held weekly “prayer” meetings with President Bush. Ummmm, is that code for something that might involve leather and nipple-rings?

If I’m wrong, I guess this proves that truth actually can be stranger than fiction, and if I’m right, I only have one thing to say-- Mr. Hiassen, if you’re listening, “Heeeeellllllppppp!”




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Enough with Anna Nicole!

First of all, she was a "celebrity" for taking off her clothes, marrying an ailing old millionaire, gaining weight, being an ass on television as she bullied everyone around her, losing weight with Trimspa (which basically is like those flat toys that expand when hit with water), acting like she was drunk/stoned and stupid, refusing to have a paternity test for her child, her oldest child's tragic death in her hospital room, and now dying young. She isn't a "tragic figure". She was a publicity whore. And now, in death, she continues to dominate the news.

Let's tell MSNBC to stop the insanity. No need for trash talk. (I did that already, above... I couldn't help myself... I'm on the verge...) Just email them to stop! The goal is to fill Abrams email box by Monday morning.

MSNBC Contacts : Just click it'll open your email :

• dabrams@msnbc.com




• KOlbermann@msnbc.com




• countdown@msnbc.com




• letters@msnbc.com




• viewerservices@msnbc.com

Thanks to Colorado Bob for the code and the suggestion!




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**A Note added 2/11: I understand why my comments have irritated some readers, and for that I apologize. Anna Nicole did nothing to deserve celebrity and I am tired of the media constantly pushing her death into the news. I was not a fan of hers, obviously and my post would have read the same during her life and I'm sure it would not be met with negativity because it is the truth. I sincerely hope that you will contact the media and ask for an end to the constant loop of ANS news. If not because of reasons related to her, because you wish to deflect attention from her child, who will suffer from being in the middle of this mayhem.

The Verge Quote of the Week

“Religion is for people who are
afraid of hell, and spirituality
is for people who have been in hell.”

Liza Minnelli , as quoted by Liz Smith




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A Winning Strategy

The following was written by Andy Borowitz... enjoy!!!!!


February 6, 2007

Biden Returns to Campaign Trail With Duct Tape Over Mouth

New Strategy to Keep Candidate On Message

In a bold new strategy to keep his candidacy for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination on message, Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del) returned to the campaign trail today with a strip of duct tape over his mouth.

Political veterans were hard-pressed to think of a candidate who made a successful bid for his party’s nomination with a piece of duct tape sealing his mouth, an orifice generally considered necessary to emit human speech.But after their candidate stumbled out of the gate by making seemingly condescending remarks about a fellow candidate, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill), advisors to Mr. Biden seized on the duct-tape solution as the best way to hit the campaign’s reset button.“Every time Joe opens his mouth, he gets in the way of his message,” said Carol Foyler, a media advisor to the Biden campaign. “Duct-taping his mouth shut is the best way to get his message out there to the American people.”

At a town hall meeting in Davenport, Iowa, Mr. Biden seemed upbeat, offering this response to a voter’s question about Social Security: “Mmmmghfffmmmggh.”

According to Ms. Foyler, for the remainder of the 2008 campaign Mr. Biden will be relying heavily on hand gestures and the art of mime to make his case to the voters.“Biden ’08 is going to be a cross between a political campaign and Cirque du Soleil,” she said.



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Snow Daze

In case you don’t live in the northeast portion of the United States, it’s RI-DIC-U-LOUSLY cold here! How cold you ask? So cold that the only happy residents of our fair land are the polar bears at the local zoo, even the penguins are hiding deep within their rookery… they’re from Africa. So cold that not one of the entire fleet of busses our school district uses could be started yesterday… hence, every child’s dream… and the scourge of all parents… the dreaded SNOW DAY!

First, let me make myself perfectly clear. I love my daughters and thoroughly enjoy having them home. Weekends are a happy blur of activity, and I’m probably the only mother on the planet who actually looks forward to summer vacation. Why then does the thought of this extra opportunity for family togetherness make me cringe?

Personally, I think that snow days have a magical connotation for most kids similar to that of Christmas… only without the tree and presents… maybe even better because you never really know when, or if, it will come. This rare gem courtesy of snow and ice has a high price tag though. Normally well-behaved children act like crazed lunatics on a sugar high. What’s a mother to do? You can’t send them outside when the wind chill brings the temperature to a frigid 20 below zero… it’s too hard thawing out kid-sicles.

But the thing that really strikes horror into this mother’s soul is what usually happens sometime between late morning and early afternoon… the plaintive cry of, ”There’s nothing to do, we’re BORED!” When gently reminded of the mountain of Christmas booty- board games, science experiments, crafts, and kits galore- a veritable Everest waiting to be conquered, they wrinkle their noses responding with, “Yeah, but we want to do something FUN!” If you’ve ever been in this situation, you’ll know that nothing short of a trip on the space shuttle will fulfill their desire for “fun”.

It’s at times like these when I need to remind myself that snow days are a gift not meant to be squandered on the mundane. So while I wait for the snow to stop, I’ll put on my crash helmet and snow pants and try to weather out the storm.



E

Another guilty pleasure...

Okay, I admit it. I love TV. I watch House, Lost, Desperate Housewives, Nip/Tuck, Heroes, Grey's Anatomy, Bones... and yes, One Life to Live, a "daytime drama" aka soap opera.

I am a huge reader and am never without a book in hand, but lately I find myself turning on the set in the evening. Why? Because the quality of those shows is good.

House says things we all wish we could say. Lost is a mystery that pulls you in anew each week. Desperate Housewives, while last season was a bust, makes me laugh... especially with the things I can identify with. Nip/Tuck is unrepentently shocking. Heroes is just plain fun. Grey's is ER Lite, for those of us who don't need the stress. Bones is a new twist on the abundance of CSI spinoffs and ripoffs.

So with all of these smart shows, why do I watch OLTL? First of all, habit. I've been watching for about 20 years. And second, and most importantly, OLTL gave me my first real writing opportunity. I write for The Llanview Banner website. For last couple of years I have been ranting to an audience of 200-500 each column. Soap fans are passionate about their shows and respond to my writing. Some love it, some hate it. But they all read it. They boosted my confidence and helped me move on to the next step. This blog.

So I thank all of my Banner readers and hope they will visit me here. And if any of you are hiding your dirty little soap fan secret, visit me there...

And now a question: Anyone interested in reviews of the shows I have listed? I have considered writing some reviews, but I don't want to waste anyone's time if you aren't interested! Be honest, please!

L

An End to Confusion

It seems that we have inadvertantly confused some of the visitors to our blog. When we started, we had anticipated writing together often. Unfortunately, our busy lives have prevented us from co-authoring many pieces.

We are the Women on the Verge (plural) and we want to try to alleviate any confusion as to who is commenting or ranting. Therefore, we are going to try to sign our posts with "L" (Lucy) or "E" (Ethel)and an icon with a pic. (We can't sign with our own initials because they are the same! And everyone knows that Lucy and Ethel are equally on the verge.)

If anyone knows an easier way to identify ourselves, let us know, but for now I am going back through and trying to assign blame...er, um... take credit for the archived posts.

With love from the Verge,
L

Parenting on the Verge

I was in the midst of the final fifteen minutes of my morning countdown until the time I needed to drive my youngest daughter to the bus-stop. As I was brushing through her night-time tangles, my dimple-cheeked cherub looked up at me in wide-eyed innocence and asked, “Mom, what’s a ‘har’?” Barely breaking with my rhythmic brush-strokes, I responded, “Har? Well, that’s one of the words I use when I meditate during yoga.”

I could see the frustration flash across her face. In addition to her dyslexia, she also has some central auditory processing issues that prevent her brain from catching the subtle differences of sounds within a word. Squinting her eyes and wrinkling her nose, she vigorously shook her head. “No, no, not ‘har’… I mean ‘whore’.”

Rule #1 of parenting: Never let them see you sweat.

My mind raced as I quickly took a moment to catch my breath. “Where’d you hear that?” I casually asked.

She rushed to assure me, “It’s not a swear word, mom”.

I assured her that while I understood it didn’t strictly fall within the category of a swear word, it still wasn’t a particularly nice word to use either.

Apparently, a third grade boy at her school had felt it necessary to announce that “whores are bad”. My daughter’s voracious appetite for information compelled her to ask one of the other students what precisely a whore was. The child she chose was a veritable fount of information. She shared with my daughter that “a whore is someone who wears really short skirts, shirts that show their belly-button, and they always wear their hair up”.

Still mindful of the minutes ticking by, it was at this moment that I innocently asked if she’d like her hair in a French braid. The rolled eyes, and the fact that her working definition of the word “whore” would include a high percentage of the female population during the summer months clued me in that I’d need to quickly come up with a definition I deemed appropriate, and that she would feel was acceptable.

My eye on the clock, I explained that a whore was someone who typically didn’t feel very good about herself and, as a result, would engage in negative behaviors to try to attract male attention. I knew I was giving a very broad definition, but it was 6:45 in the morning and how explicit do you really want to get with a precocious nine year old?

I was relieved to see an expression of understanding dawn on her face as she began to slowly nod her head. “Oh, I get it… you mean like a stripper?”

Rule #2 of parenting: When in doubt…PASS!!

I did the only thing I could…I said, “We’ve got to go… you can ask your dad later…”

E

My New Theme Song

My big announcement of the day: I have a new theme song. Okay, so I never had an old theme song, but I thought it might be fun to have one. While you might expect something along the lines of "Under Pressure" from David Bowie, I'm thinking that something more positive is in order.

As stereotypical as it is, I love shoes. Shoe shopping is very pleasant and I don't have to worry about looking fat... no matter how skimpy the style! With that in mind, how could I resist a song whose chorus says: "Hey, I put some new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right. I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling it's so inviting. Oh, short on money and long on time, strolling slowly in the sweet sunshine. And I'm running late and I don't need an excuse 'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes."?

** Ugh... messed up my formatting trying to add my signature.... I'll repost the video later, but you can find it on YouTube if you search "Paolo Nutini Today Show".

L

Best Buy... Worst Buy

Best Buy really pisses me off. The managerial staff are complete asses. I wandered in to exchange a dvd set that my son had received as a gift. (Back to the Future Trilogy... Someone has to show our kids that there are GOOD movies out there, unlike the one they keep quoting: Napoleon Dynamite.) The second dvd in the set was defective; it locked up throughout the second half and was unwatchable. I told customer service that my the item was defective and she trotted off to the manager. He said that without a receipt from within the last 30 days they wouldn't replace it. He actually whispered to her at the other end of the counter! I told her that was ridiculous. The product is defective and they should replace it for me and return the defective one to the company. There were no visible imperfections or scratches, it was obvious that I hadn't damaged it. I told them they could check it on one of the dvd players in store. They declined. I told them that Media Play and other stores had no issues with that. I didn't want cash, just a working dvd. The manager didn't even talk to me directly. Completely ignored me. Well, actually he watched me from the corner of his eye from his post at a computer. Apparently my Woman on the Verge attitude was showing. I made sure that when I pronounced their policy "idiotic" I looked directly at the weasel.

I came home and called Best Buy headquarters and gave them a piece of my mind. Basically I said that their policy was idiotic and the staff at that store was unprofessional, incompetent and not even remotely helpful. I kept talking until she realized that I wasn't going away easily. She agreed to make an "exception just this once". Like I'm going to feel special? Like I'm going to recant my tirade and recommend to everyone who reads my blog rush off to the best store on earth? Give me a break, honey. They were wrong and you are covering their asses. At least they took down the store info so that Weasel Manager's behavior is on file. I really hope that "this call [was] monitored for quality purposes". Anyway, now Best Buy is sending me a gift card for $24.99 so we can buy the set again. It won't come for 6-8 weeks, if it actually arrives at all.

When Miss Best Buy asked if there was anything else she could do for me, I could swear I heard her cringe. Good. That's the message. Don't mess with a Woman on the Verge.

L

About A Brush With Chaos

As some of you may know, we recently had a “spot of bother” that had to be weathered. My blogging partner was utterly swamped by her job and family commitments, and I was blind-sided by a bit of medical mayhem. I could launch into a tirade about a health-care system that seems to be far less interested in caring for the patient than in watching out for the bottom- line, but I won’t. At least not this time.

On January 15th I took my friend to the hospital for what was supposed to have been a “routine” operation. A one hour surgery that might have her out the door later that evening—at the absolute latest, the next morning. My friend, a red-haired tornado possessing the stubbornness of a mule-team (I say this with the utmost loving conviction- having known her for thirty years) had insisted that I would be dropping her off at the hospital. Fortunately, I also possess mule-like stubbornness and completely ignored her request.

In our thirty years, we’ve been through a lot. Together we faced things young girls should never have to face. As we got older we were there for each other through marriages, pregnancies, miscarriages, fertility problems, divorce, and deployments. We’ve cried together and shared a lot of laughter too. So, being divorced, when she was asked to fill out her HIPA form and Health-Care Proxy it was natural for her to give those rights to information and decision making to me. Thank God.

That one hour surgery stretched into a surreal blur lasting twelve hours… and ultimately lasting two weeks. After the first 2 ½ hours passed, panic began to set in. When I finally found someone with information they asked me to wait to speak with the doctor. Never a good sign. Low blood pressure… 60/40… low hematocrit… “we’ll be keeping her in recovery a few hours longer”… “had to fix the bladder that was punctured during surgery”… “don’t leave—too many unknowns”.

Have you ever felt like the world was falling out from beneath your feet??? My first thought was of her seventeen year old daughter... at home... alone. What was I going to tell her? I pictured her as the feisty two-year old she’d been, insisting on taking a bath for the second time in an afternoon… reaching up to me with those dancing eyes and devilish smile… winding those sweet little arms around my neck…

1 ½ hours later my cell-phone rang. A nurse told me she would be connecting me with the “attending”. Never a good sign. I insisted on talking to the doctor face-to-face. I arrived to a flurry of activity. The anesthesiologist was consulting with a colleague. The words “pressure falling” drifted over me. A nurse handed me a box of tissues. The doctor explained that my friend’s pressure and hematocrit were dropping fast. They needed to go in again. Immediately. Did I know if she had any bleeding disorders?

The second surgery over, and four long hours later I was allowed to see her in the Surgical Intensive Care unit. Swollen to twice her normal size and ghostly white, she lay connected to monitors, tubes and drains snaking from her battered body. As the nurse escorted me in he asked if my friend, the red-haired tornado six weeks older than me, was my mother…

Little did I know that question was the beginning of another layer to the nightmarish hell we’d entered. Suddenly staff was questioning me, “Who EXACTLY are you again?” The fact that my name was on the paperwork meant little to them. My questions were met with raised brows, my presence regarded with smirks and suspicion. The idea that we were close friends was inconceivable. So inconceivable that the next morning the doctor questioned her as to our relationship. Worse yet, the anesthesiologist interrogated her so brutally that my friend became hysterical. After having lost 18… count ‘em… 18 pints of blood … still in ICU, playing a macabre game of hide-n-seek with death… my friend was subjected to this for what reason???

While I realize it was at least partially due to a “cover-your-ass” mentality that kicked in due to the fact that my friend had suffered, among other things, a cut artery in the first surgery that had gone undetected, I also believe it was due to close-minded, disconnected people who couldn’t comprehend a long-term bond between two women that didn’t entail sexual intimacy.

What a profoundly sad testament this is for our culture… have we become so disconnected that we are that distrustful of human caring? Are we capable of understanding relationships only within a sexual framework? If this is truly what we have become, then it’s no wonder we’re in trouble. Turn off the TV, unplug from your I-Pod, get out and connect in a meaningful way with the world. Rediscover the richness of human contact. Revel in it. And if you already have it, savor it… and count your blessings for the precious gift you’ve been given.

E

There Ain't But One Way

From Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie. Their solution to all of our problems from global warming, world hunger, and Iraq. Do you think our politicians have been watching this?