And We Thought the Insanity Would End...

I saw my kids off to school yesterday after several days of frenetic supply shopping, arguing over summer assignment completion deadlines, and general lousy moods over the end of their freedom.

For some reason I thought this would leave me with time to, oh... I don't know, write in our blog or something. I was delusional. I have done nothing but try to repair the damage done by having three children home for two and a half months. We had no food in the house. Laundry has progressed to the point where climbing gear is required to scale the piles of clothes. I'd tell you about the Dust Bunnies, but they are so big I'm afraid they'll ambush me if they catch wind of my plan to eradicate them.

I hope that by next week I will be able to find my way over to Ethel's and make sure she is properly untied. Somehow I expect she'll have something to say over Fred Thompson announcing his presidential intentions on Jay Leno, don't you?

Heeeeellllllppppppp!!!

Lucy and I are currently tied up ... our kids wanted to play cops and robbers... guess who got to be the robbers??? As soon as we get the knots worked loose we'll be back.

In the meantime a few tidbits ( sorry but typing with my big toe is quite laborious):

I heard that the Prez challenged Congress to "support the troops" and give them what they need. I just hope that Ms. Pelosi heard and she'll start the impeachment proceedings toot sweet.

And filed under "Isn't It Ironic?", I found it highly interesting that the President and the MSM are telling us that the troops want to stay and that they don't want to "cut and run" and yet Ron Paul, a man who has been steadfastly against this President's hawkish insanity from the beginning, has received 52% of his campaign donations for his presidential run from active duty military. Seems like those soldiers must've misplaced Dub's memo.

Concerning the former Surgeon General's testimony that he was not only blocked from discussing health issues that were in conflict with Georgie's policies, told not to attend the Special Olympics because *sniff* that odious Kennedy family was affiliated with that organization, but that he was also ordered to mention the President's name three times on every page of each speech he gave. I've got to say that this wasn't much of a surprise. I mean is it much of a reach to imagine that a man who even has his socks and skivvies monogrammed with the presidential seal would be megalomaniacal enough to make such a demand?? Shoot, I'll even lay odds that he's got a big ol' magnifying glass hanging above the presidential urinal.

I could keep going but my foot is turning blue... and we think we hear them coming back...gulp.

Declaration of Independence II

I thought it might be a lovely idea to present this to our esteemed leader on this 4th of July and declare our own independence... from him.

"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the
political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these [States]; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present [President of The United States] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation.

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury.


For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences.

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments.

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

A [President], whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people."

Justice Dubya Style

President Bush continues to strive to reach new lows as he commutes "Scooter" Libby's sentence preventing him from serving any jail time for committing treason by exposing the identity of a covert CIA operative... in war time... and then lying about it in court. Is it possible that we were all dreaming when we saw him say that anyone in his administration who was involved in Ms. Plame's "outing" would be fired and face appropriate legal action??? Apparently our president feels that the sentence was too harsh. Obviously the 30 months "Scooter" had been sentenced to serve would have been an excessive hardship for him and his family.

I just have to wonder though...where was this sense of compassion when he served as governor of Texas and refused to pardon any of those serving on death row? And where , by the way, is this new found sense of compassion for those troops serving their sentences in that prison called Iraq? Or could it be that only those who have dirt on our beloved leader benefit from his generosity???

Happy To Be Back!!!

I'm checking in to let everyone know that I'm still alive and kicking ( no black uniformed Blackwater contractors have come to carry me off in the middle of the night... yet). As Lucy let you all know I've been buried beneath seemingly endless renovation projects filled with glitches (the full gallon of $50 fume free lavender paint that caused about $700 in replaced carpet and pad... we still haven't had the antique dresser refinished... sigh). Unfortunately we've had to try to finish as much as possible before my husband leaves for a three month long class in Alabama in a few weeks.

I was also recruited by the Learning Disability Association near the end of April to do some public speaking to help with fundraising and spent much of my first several weeks away writing and re-writing my speech. I spent an equal amount of time in those weeks pacing frantically and trying to control my nausea as I obsessed about how much I dislike speaking in front of large groups of people.

In the middle of all that our youngest daughter's school went through a change in administration. The new folks in charge felt it was time to shift from focusing on teaching gifted children ( after all there aren't that many statistically speaking and they're more expensive to educate) to "saving" them. Are the hairs standing up on the back of your neck yet??? Yep, her wonderful school will be a fundie christian school next year. Needless to say we declined to stick around for the brainwashing. Unfortunately, this meant we had to find a new school and fast. Thankfully we were able to find one that should work well for her. They don't participate in the standardized testing craze and.. hold onto your hats... they actually encourage critical thinking. I'll keep you updated on the efficacy of this revolutionary approach.

Since then it's been a typical whirlwind of end of the school year chaos and the fact that if I try to sit at the computer for longer than 30 seconds it seems to trigger various catastrophes accompanied by the plaintive cry of "Mooooooommmmmmm" that require my immediate attention. I'm hoping that in between taxiing my kids to their various classes, life guarding at the pool, supervising crafting activities and my general refereeing duties that I should be able to begin writing on a fairly regular basis again and taking some much needed strolls through the blogosphere. I look forward to visiting you all soon!!!

Ethel

A Poem by Lucy's 13 year old Son

My son was inspired to write the following poem. I found it pretty amusing because he is honest to a fault....

Cheaters never win they say,
I've come to hear that much,
But everything I've cheated for,
Has come into my clutch.
From books and games and magazines,
and all the toys galore,
Getting all these things just makes
me want to cheat some more.
So "Cheaters never win" those words,
they put me in such pain,
When the truth of the matter is,
That cheaters always gain.

MIA

We are sorry to be absent for so much of June, but we are literally on the go all the time. Please bear with us and we will return as soon as we can!

Where's Ethel?

Not to worry... Ethel is slightly overwhelmed with her kids' year end school activities/exams as well as some ill-fated home improvement projects. She sends her love and will be back ranting as soon as she gets the lavender paint spill off of the antique dresser... Looooong story.


Lucy

Tyra Banks, Worst Role Model... Ever

In April, Tyra Banks was photographed on a beach. She was wearing a swimsuit and had *gasp* cellulite. Tabloid headlines screamed that the supermodel had gained weight. The unflattering pics were splattered across every cover in the checkout aisle. Did Tyra just take it? Nope.

Tyra went public with her weight: 165 lbs. She orchestrated her own onslaught of tabloid covers with a more flattering picture of herself in a swimsuit. She dedicated an episode of her talk show to feeling good about yourself, regardless of weight. Tyra and her "So What?" campaign were champions of women. Great, right?


6 weeks later Tyra was again on magazine covers. This time the headlines screeched: "How Tyra Got Slim!" and "Tyra sheds 30 pounds in 6 weeks!" She is in a green bikini and grinning. Apparently she didn't listen to her own message about feeling good about yourself. Apparently that was all spin. Apparently, although we don't put a whole lot of stock in what she says anyway, we shouldn't bother to listen at all now.

Way to be a role model, Tyra.

Lucy

I'm onto you, Oprah!

Oprah, all powerful media goddess, is up to something.... And I think it's a hidden agenda and alliance with the Pharmaceutical industry. She has gone to great lengths to encourage us to read The Road by Cormac McCarthy, which she has said she is "passionate" about. I heard she told Larry King that it was an "inspirational father-son story" and like nothing she has ever read before.

If "inspiration" is what I was supposed to find, I must have gotten a bum copy. I read the The Road, and by the end of this bleak, depressing saga I was onto Oprah's tricks. In what must be a covert deal with drug companies, Oprah is choosing the most depressing books she can get her hands on. As readers sink into despair, they will seek out the help of antidepressant drugs from their physicians. Ah, how I love a good conspiracy theory.

Just watch... Future editions of many of Oprah's picks (see The Road, The Book of Ruth, Map of the World, etc.) will come with a special edition Prozac trial prescription bookmark in every copy and mini-therapy sessions with Dr. Phil in the "afterwords".

I'm onto you, Oprah....

Lucy

Hairapy

You know that SunSilk shampoo slogan, “Get Hairapy?” I need it... but not in a bottle.

I have always been fickle with my hair. I change the style and color pretty often, but for the last five years or so I have been in a rut. My stylist, with whom I have a 20 year relationship, has always enjoyed the fact that I like change and as a result of our rapport I have had very few bad hair incidents. Usually bad things happen when I ask her to do something that she tells me my hair won’t do... and I tell her to try anyway.

So on with my story. Last week I decided to change my style and color for spring/summer. I meticulously found pictures of Reese Witherspoon from the movie “Sweet Home Alabama” (it was on TV all this week) online and decided to brighten up my naturally dark brunette hair with chunky gold highlights.

I strolled in bearing my pictures (my stylist has an inch thick stack of my picture requests from the last 20 years) and she started to cut. The cut went well, lopping off a good 4 inches or so in the back. I liked it. Then came the color. The regular highlights in the back and sides were fine, but the chunky ones on top turned... *shudder* orange. Yes, the “O” word. A word no woman wants to hear from her hairdresser’s mouth during coloring. Not Lucy orange, mind you, traffic cone orange. So she reapplied the solution and I sat, eyes watering, under the dryer. When I emerged, the orange had turned white. Not good. My stylist then continued through 4 more procedures, ending with my highlights not only still white, but breaking off in chunks. This led to the other “O” word no woman wants to hear at a salon: Overprocessed. After five hours at the salon, I did not handle this well. I insisted on handing her a check and I left, crying.

I have notoriously low self esteem and my hair is the one thing that I actually like about myself, so this was a real blow. I fretted and sulked and considered my options. I could don a red string bracelet and shave my head a la Britney; Buy some lovely robes, shave my head and declare Hare Krishna in the local airport; Fake cancer (okay, so I couldn’t really sink that low, but it did cross my mind) and lament the side effects of chemo. In the end, I headed to the store and purchased $40 worth of moisturizing and repairing hair products. I knew my problem was well beyond the scope of these mere mortal treatments, but I had to try.

As I sat in my bedroom, my head slathered with “revitalizing damage reversing” goop and ensconced in a lovely plastic shower cap, my stylist called. She was very upset. She apologized profusely, swore she would return my check and offered twice weekly deep conditioning treatments for free. She felt horrible. I, of course, felt worse because the evidence of the incident was currently pasted to my scalp. But we verbally kissed and made up, amidst numerous apologies from her and comforting yet still slightly stunned about my hair remarks from me.

I have spent the last few days conditioning twice daily and perfecting an art of deception that would make "Mata Hairi" proud. I purchased ten pair of decorative bobby pins for swooping the unaffected hair over the stubbly remains of my highlights. A wide headband works wonders for covering that nasty broken area. Thank God for whoever decided that zigzag parts were a good idea...

And when all is said and done, I am facing weeks of continuing counterfeit hairdos, all designed to conceal the shame of the previously orange, overprocessed, remains of my highlights. So, does anyone out there know a good hairapist?

Lucy

Poll from the Verge

I have a question....

I noticed that we have quite a bit of traffic from dial up connections as well as dsl and broadband. I was concerned about the slow loading of our page due to the leopard background behind the page (it only showed in the narrow border since I expanded to 3 columns). I recently removed that background and I am wondering:

Does our blog load faster for you now?

Thanks for your input... and watch for my entry later this week about my need for extreme Hairapy!

Lucy

Parenting... sort of...

Last spring, slogging through the mire of required courses for my high school age son, we discovered that every student is required to take a half credit parenting class. Trying to be proactive, we decided to get it out of the way during the second semester of this, his freshman year. We were presented with two options: Child Psychology and Parenting. We knew that in one of the courses, a weekend with a computerized baby was required. Logic dictated that the baby would be part of the Parenting class, so my son signed up for Child Psychology.

Apparently logic has nothing to do with high school courses, because my son was assigned a weekend in April with “Wing Lee”, his Asian baby. In preparation for our guest, my son cancelled all of his plans. He ditched the movie with his friends, declined to sing in the choir at church, and planned to stay inside with Wing Lee all weekend. There was no way in hell he was dragging a baby doll out anywhere with him.

On Friday, I drove to school to pick Sam up. He trudged out of the school with a blanket covered lump in a car seat, a diaper bag, and grim expression. The entire trip home he fiddled with the sensor bracelet that he would have to scan over the baby’s stomach or back before dealing with it, to confirm that he was the caregiver. We got home, unloaded, and waited for the “activation”. His teacher had refused to give any inkling as to time of launch.

Wing Lee's arrival

Around 4:00pm Wing Lee began to cry. He had 4 cries: Feeding, Changing, Burping, and Rocking. The student was required to “chime” the infant with his wrist band, determine the baby’s need and meet it, and then record the time and his comments. The first few hours were basically uneventful, with feedings and changings and miscellaneous cooing sounds in between.

The feeding and changing cries became easy to identify. The burping and rocking were indistinguishable and were increasingly grating. It took between fifteen and thirty minutes to satisfy the burping or rocking cry. Apparently Wing Lee had colic... or rust on his microchip... either way he was one unhappy electronic infant.

Wing Lee being unhappy

Sam had planned to just forgo sleep for the weekend, but we convinced him that he needed to try to sleep when the baby did. He shut his door for the night, Wing Lee tucked safely in his car seat.

Saturday morning found Sam up early with Wing Lee. The night wasn’t too bad, but knowing what his friends had gone through, he knew that Saturday night was bound to be horrible. The weather was gorgeous, but taking Wing Lee outside would be risky. If anyone bumped the seat or jostled him wrong it could cost points. If Wing Lee was picked up without perfect head support, he would wail for what felt like an hour. We took him in the back yard for a short while, feeding, changing, burping and rocking and generally not enjoying the day.

By afternoon we were getting sick of Wing Nut’s whining. He had no schedule at all. The teacher told the students that he had varying schedules, but I have had three children and ten nieces and nephews and none of them had any “schedule” like Wing Nut. He would cry to be fed, take the bottle for 10 minutes, be quiet for 5 minutes and want to be fed again. Once he ate 4 times in one hour with no burping. The burping was completely random and unrelated to feeding. As a teaching tool, this thing was ridiculous. If it had a learning curve, where the student could begin to anticipate the baby’s needs, maybe it would have made sense, but the random absurd demands taught nothing.

Saturday night, Sam was up with Wong Fu 12 times. He was exhausted. We found him on the couch in the morning, baby next to him apparently sleeping. “Sure, sleep now, Stupid!” my son glared at it. Wing Nut demanded Sam’s full attention Saturday and by nightfall he was a mess. He dreaded going to bed because he was certain that the baby would cry every five minutes.

We put an air mattress next to our bed and kept Sam and Wong Fu company for the night. He wasn’t up as often, but Monday morning, we were all ready for Wing Nut to go back to school.

With relish I completed my parent portion of the baby packet. I stated that the tool was foolish and useless. I do not think it will deter teens from having sex. I do not think that in the heat of the moment, a teen will stop and say, “Oh no! Remember Wing Nut! We should stop!” The experience did not kick off any conversations about parenting because we have already had them. I ranted about the lack of schedule and the horror of keeping a fifteen year old up all night with a guessing game. C’mon, at night it couldn’t be programmed to change, eat, burp and go back to sleep? I made clear the fact that this was a parenting activity and had no place in a Child Psych class. Luckily my pages did not count as part of his grade. He managed to get a 90% all on his own. With one unsupported head pick up and one cry that went unanswered because we couldn’t figure out what the hell Wing Nut wanted, he passed with flying colors.

Wing Lee by the end of his visit (We had all aged)

What did we learn from this wonderful experience? I’m making sure my other sons sign up for Parenting Class.

Lucy

Bill Maher 05/04/07 - GOP Presidential Debate

GRRRRRRR!!

I have tried posting a video for the past 24 hours and I am FRUSTRATED!!!!!!! Rather than continue beating my head against the wall, please go to youtube and type in "Bill Maher May 4 GOP Debate". The clip is about 38 seconds and my text was...

" All they're missing are the multiple references to September 11th set to scary music."

Who knows, maybe a week from now it'll actually get posted.


Ethel

An Open Letter To Congress

Since our fearless leader broke out his shiny new veto pen to use on the Iraq Accountablity Act, there has been much debate as to what to do next. My question is WHY?? You are engaged in the ultimate game of "Chicken" with a tyrant. You were placed in that position by an overwhelming majority of the people you work for, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. You are there acting on OUR behalf. For God's sake, don't blink!!!!

Let's not forget that this man was not only given everything he asked for in terms of funding, but was actually given MORE than he requested. The only caveat was a non-binding timetable for withdrawl from the gaping maw of death and destruction that is Iraq. NON-BINDING!!!!

An analogy may be in order. Let's say my 12 year old daughter presents me with a proposal for a birthday party. I tell her that I'd like to try to keep the costs as close to $100 as possible. If she looks at me with complete and utter disdain, telling me that she can't possibly be expected to plan a party with with any kind of financial limits placed upon her, I do what any parent worth their salt would do. I tell her that if she does not accept my offer, she will need to find a way to fund it herself... NEXT YEAR because this year she'll be doing community service on her special day.

What's my point? This president is acting like an ill-behaved adolescent. Send the same bill back to him and let him continue to hold his breath. So what if he doesn't like it??? Too bad!!! Trust me, he'll have to take a breath sooner or later. Under no circumstances should you give in to him. HE is the one responsible now for cutting funds for the troops, not you. The American people know that. Do not cave under his threats and foot-stomping. Rescind his authority because if he can't play nicely, he shouldn't be allowed to play at all. This man needs boundaries set. GIVE THEM TO HIM!!!

Ethel

New Universal Gas Sign

As I head out to spend a large portion of the day driving, I thought this would be an appropriate time to share this sign since misery loves company. How bad is the oil company's raping and pillaging where you are???

E

Standing By His Man : The Story of Dubya and Gonzo

Dubya and Gonzo were breaking camp under a blazing Texas sunrise, preparing for another long day of clearing brush. Peeking out at Dubya from under lowered lashes Gonzo quietly asked,"You still angry?"

Dubya strolled over to Gonzo gently cuffing him on the chin."You know I can't stay mad at you for long. There aren't very many who truly understand me the way that you do. Not even Laura."

Reassured for the moment, Gonzo began to pack the bedroll with the rest of his gear. Turning slightly away as he strapped his supplies to his pony, Gonzo inquired hesitatingly,"But what are you going to do if they keep pushing for you to fire me?"

Dubya threw an arm around Gonzo, "Don't you worry 'bout that", he drawled. "You know I can't quit you!"

The men quickly finished their packing, eager to get on with the day's work. They swung on to their mounts, Dubya's a golden palomino and Gonzo's a sprightly paint, and began the long ride to the next area of brush to be cleared. Lulled by the gentle swaying beneath him, Gonzo asked,"But what if HE wants me to go?"

Just then Cowboy Karl appeared on the horizon astride his faithful mule, Sugarplum. Dubya began to smile,"Don't you fret Gonzo, you're doing a heckuva job!" He gazed fondly at Karl as he continued his approach. "You know Gonzo, like him or not, you've gotta admit, Karl's got one mighty fine ass."




Special thanks to Lucy for working a bit of Photo-shop magic in the creation of the graphic for this post!


Ethel

Ah-ha!!!

Suddenly it's all begun to make sense to me how Dubya could have managed to ignore all those warnings of a possible attack...

E

Blogger Feeds Broken

Hacks broken; Blogger working on a fix

Hackosphere reports (per phydeaux3)that Blogger feeds are broken. Feeds are what power most of the hacks. You may find that hacks like Recent Posts/comments and Neo will be broken. So if something on your blog looks strange or is missing, hang in there. Blogger is working on it!



Phew! And I thought I messed something up on our template!

Lucy

Straight-Talk Express:

McCain implodes on "The Daily Show". As an inadvertent public service John McCain went on to prove once and for all that he's not just "losing it" but that he's officially lost his mind. That train pulled out of the station a looooong time ago and no one even stuck around to turn off the lights.

E

In Case You Weren't Paying Attention

Spring Fever: The Tale of the Mutant Frog

This past weekend was the first warm bout of weather we've had after a seemingly endless winter in upstate New York. My daughters, along with a small cadre of other children, armed with buckets and nets spent both days capturing and releasing bullfrogs, leopard frogs, assorted tadpoles, painted turtles and blandings turtles. At one point, after hearing frantic shrieking, I made a mad dash to the pond to release a snapping turtle that had been inadvertently netted.

Unlike most of the nearby moms, I love watching the kids knee-deep in muck. No doubt my love of nature was inherited from my father and nurtured by growing up in a rural area and watching Hodge Podge Lodge on PBS until I was bleary-eyed.

Known to my immediate neighbors as "The Environmentalist", I am the mom who will pick up a snake, wade in the creek to catch crayfish, compare and contrast the characteristics of toads and frogs, and will explain to the children that the giant bird they spotted by the edge of the creek was a great blue heron, not a crane.

Needless to say, when I heard cries of "mutant frog" coming from the creek I was concerned. If there were frogs in the creek displaying genetic mutations I wanted to know about it for obvious reasons. Bordering on hysteria, the children ran up to me speaking over one another about the frog they'd seen with two heads. Urging me to hurry, they grabbed my hand eager to show me the spot where the beast had last been seen.

On our way a mom called out to ask me if the kids were showing me the mutated frog. She shuddered as she described a frog with a head that appeared to have grown another head above it. With growing horror I began to wonder what toxins the kids had been exposed to during their explorations of the creek and adjacent pond. I began to mentally review the list of authorities who would need to be contacted in order to determine how contaminated our previously pristine creek water had become.

We quickly reached the spot and the children pointed at a large rock inhabited by what appeared to be a two-headed toad, not frog. Jumping across the creek boulders, I knelt to examine the creature. It appeared that rather than having two heads, it was as if two toads had been melded together. As I picked it up the children gave shouts of horrified disgust. I turned the toad over and began gently moving its legs. Sure enough, I found small feet tightly gripping underneath the leg joints of the bottom toad. I smiled and carefully placed the breeding pair back onto their boulder. After assuring the kids that the toads were not mutated but were instead making baby toads, I began to walk home.

On the way back I passed by the mom I'd seen a few minutes earlier. She called out to ask if I'd seen the mutated monstrosity. "Yep", I answered. " My guess is that it was caused by spring fever. It'll be just fine if it gets a bottle of wine, a bit of privacy, and a heart-shaped bed in the Poconos."



Ethel

A Very Disturbing Coincidence

On occasion I read novels by Jodi Picoult. She fancies herself an author unafraid to tackle controversial subjects. Most of her works do indeed deal with dangerous ground. Unfortunately many of these books end with a lackluster, noncommital conclusion (Don't even bother with My Sister's Keeper).

Last week I finished reading her latest: Nineteen Minutes. The subject, if you can believe it, is a school shooting. The victim of bullying fights back with guns in a terrible incident that has some disturbing parallels to the Virginia Tech incident in the news this week. I am not intimating that Ms. Picoult's book has anything to do with Virginia Tech at all... My concern lies in what the author, publisher, and media might do with this coincidence.

Often when tragedy strikes, anyone and everyone is called by the media to comment. So-called experts can be anyone the media feels can extend their coverage and ratings. Here's my concern... Ms. Picoult's book was released in March and is on the NY Times Bestseller List. How long will it take the media to glom onto the parallels and try to thrust the author into the spotlight? That much is expected, but it is her response and the response of her publisher that most worries me. If Simon and Schuster and Jodi Picoult in any way promote her book by riding the coattails of this disaster, I will be seriously pissed off.

I hope that the publisher and author will show integrity and decline to exploit the events in Virginia to hype Nineteen Minutes. We have seen authors take advantage of the celebrity afforded to them as CNN, MSNBC, and others scramble for knowledgeable guests to fill the time between investigation revelations and other "real news". Should Jodi Picoult show the poor taste to presume herself an expert and show up on my screen with her book in hand... well, I guess it will be a Boycott from the Verge. She will lose me as a reader, as well as anyone else I can reach personally and through this blog.

I truly hope that all of my concern is in vain and that no one is even considering the similarities as far as personal gain but, call me a cynic, I can hear Jodi's phone ringing right now.

Lucy

Prayers From the Verge

While I expect that I will be compelled to voice my opinion about senseless violence at a later date, right now I would just like to pray for all of those lost in the Virginia Tech shootings and would ask you to do the same.

Lucy

Imus Mess

I planned to sit here and rant about Don Imus and his racist debacle, but I found the entire mess way to repulsive. That, in itself, says it all.
Lucy

LOST: BACK ON TRACK

The last two episodes of LOST have been much improved. They have returned to the formula that made LOST a hit for the first two seasons. A mix of answers and new questions, no new characters suddenly appearing from nowhere and juicy flashbacks have me on the edge of my seat.

Click Read More for discussion that includes spoiler information from the last two weeks.
Last week found Kate and Juliet handcuffed together in the jungle, apparently abandoned there by the Others. After rescuing Jack and Sayid, and realizing that Locke had joined the Others, they began their journey back towards the camp. Kate flashbacks linked her to Sawyer through his jilted lover, Cassidy. It was an interesting episode and it is definitely setting the stage for further conflict between the survivors. Jack’s trust of Juliet is causing Kate and Sayid to question his judgment.

This week was amazing. An offhand remark from Juliet to Jack indicating that she handcuffed herself to Kate and dragged her into the jungle and lied to her about it calls Jack’s loyalties into question… at least for me. The twisted ending that showed us that Juliet is infiltrating the survivors’ camp to spy for Ben, and that they purposely made Claire sick (that they have implanted her with something that gives them that power!) was a great twist. But the question in my mind still remains: Does Jack know that Juliet is there for the Others? Is he protecting her for them? Does he have another agenda? And WHY?

I don’t know the answers, but I am loving the questions….

Lucy

Ethel in Quarantine

Spoke to Ethel on the telephone yesterday and she sounded positively green. The flu has claimed its latest victim. Apparently her computer contracted a virus last week and Ethel, kind soul that she is, contracted a sympathy virus that evolved into a full blown bout of the flu. Hopefully she will be on her feet and in full rant very very soon...

Lucy

Happy Easter From the Verge

House - Does He Care?

In this week's episode, Fetal Position, House finds himself performing surgery on a fetus in order to save his patient and her unborn child. Despite his earlier claims that the "fetus" is NOT a "baby" he seems touched during this moment... Just a little peek at House's human side.

Lucy

Lost in Translation

I waited in breathless anticipation of this week’s LOST. Finally I would understand the purpose of the introduction of Niki and Paulo. I was greatly disappointed.

First of all, and this won’t spoil much for folks… I’ll save that for the “read more” section… Niki and Paulo came out of nowhere. Every other new character was introduced with some kind of purpose or context. The “tailies” were survivors from the tail section; the “others” are mysterious folks on the other side of the island; Rousseau is a woman who has been stranded for 16 years; Desmond manned the hatch. For some reason, one day Niki and Paulo suddenly stepped from the background and spoke to main characters. And the main characters knew who they were. It was just wrong.

Secondly, they seemed to have no connection to anyone, no reason for being there and no charisma. I’m attached to Sun and Jin, Claire and Charlie, Desmond, Hurley, Kate, Jack, Sawyer… and while I’m not fond of Locke lately, he has reason to be there. Niki and Paulo are simply useless.

If you haven’t seen this week’s episode: Expose’ (Season 3 episode 14) don’t click “Read More”! If you have…. click away!

(Lucy)
All interviews and sound bites promised that after we saw “Expose’” we would understand Niki and Paulo’s purpose on the island, their connections, and we would like them! Hello? Wrong on all three counts!

After a series of flashbacks placing them in scenes from previous episodes, in which they had no real connections to any of our favorite survivors, I still didn’t see why Niki and Paulo were there. I certainly didn’t like them. I loved it when Sawyer, after being confronted by Niki demanding a gun said, “Who are you anyway?” I felt his pain.

Con artists are in abundance on the island and two more were not necessary. Their greed got them nowhere and they gained nothing. After being bitten by Medusa Spiders and paralyzed, appearing dead, they were buried alive.

I feel ripped off. My time has been wasted. Nothing they did or said added to my Lost “experience”. They enlightened no one to anything. They discovered nothing. They had no history with anyone on the island. It seems like the writers felt they had a few extra episodes to fill so they stuck this in. When fans declared their dislike of these intruders, they were summarily killed.

That was the best part, actually, them getting buried. I just hope to hell the island doesn’t barf them up. They are pretty distasteful.

A Brief Post While the Cough Medicine is Still Working

I had occasion to visit a 6th grade classroom very recently. I was observing as a teacher was presenting a Social Studies lesson on Ancient Civilizations. Students were obediently copying down the notes from the handwritten overhead slides the teacher had prepared. I noticed a couple of minor spelling and pronunciation errors, but hey, we all make mistakes, right?

That's when she came to it. A crime against all spelling and grammar: "Distastless". You are probably saying, "Huh?" just as I did when faced with this so-called adjective printed in bright purple overhead marker. This "word" was supposed to describe someone who wore excessive amounts of jewelry. A myriad of alternative adjectives ran through my mind: gauche, crass, uncouth... But no, she had chosen to create her own word. This erroneous hybrid of tasteless and distasteful was, well, distasteful.

I watched in silent horror as the children copied this offensive descriptor in their notebooks. As I cleared my throat, ready to attempt a graceful and gentle correction, I launched into a coughing fit. By the time I left the room, got a drink, and recovered, the damage was done and the class had moved on. It was probably for the best. A teacher who would use the word “distastless” would probably not take constructive criticism well.

Which leads me to this question: Shouldn’t that TV show be named “Are you smarter than a 6th grade teacher?”

Lucy

Thanks for your patience

Last I heard, Ethel was still knee deep in the stomach bug at her house (horrible visual, no?). Here, the kids have nearly fully recovered, however I am still battling their virus (My own fault - I always taught them to share). I not only have the sinus pressure and cough, I also managed to pull a muscle in my back while in the midst of a nasty coughing attack. In other words, be patient with us just a little while longer and we will be back and ranting. We have been chatting and have some interesting topics we hope to discuss very soon....

Now excuse me while I go take my medicine...

Lucy

Plague Alert

As some of you may know, Lucy has been home most of the week with two sick children suffering from sore throats and fevers. I'm sad to say that although Lucy bathed in Lysol, she is now the latest victim in this germ skirmish. However... she was most grateful to have been spared by the stomach bug that hit my house early this morning. I'll post again after I run out to buy a few cases of disinfectant and bleach...

The Thinking Blogger Award

Lucy and I would like to thank our favorite feline friend, Tomcat from Politics Plus, for giving us the Thinking Blogger Award. The award is to be passed on to 5 bloggers who cause us to really think. Because the task of only being able to choose 5 out of the many blogs we visit has proven to be extremely difficult for us... we are Lucy and Ethel after all... we decided to throw all of our favorites into a hat and draw names. So if your blog isn't listed it's because having to choose proved to be the equivalent of taking Lucy shopping in a shoe store having a going-out-of-business sale and telling her she can only buy one pair of shoes... and you know how Lucy loves shoes!!

Digging Deeper by Ivan Goldman

morning martini by pissed off patricia

preserve, protect, defend by two crows

there are a million stories by ruth

goodness graciousness by jennifer

Wishes for Elizabeth

Our thoughts are with John and Elizabeth Edwards and their children. We wish them courage, strength and tranquility...

The Verge

The First Day of the Fifth Year in Iraq

I knew it wasn’t going to be good when Lucy called to ask if I’d seen the interview Matt Lauer had done with Condi on the Today show yesterday morning. After spending several minutes convincing me that it was something that I really needed to see, I swallowed an anti-emetic to control the nausea I knew I’d soon be experiencing, took a slug of Pepto-Bismol, sat at my computer and prepared to be ill.

In case you missed it, here’s my version of the transcript:

ML: Good morning Madame Secretary.

CR: Good morning, Matthew.

ML: Madame Secretary, today is the beginning of the fifth year our country will have been in Iraq. Is the President marking this milestone in any way?

CR: Well Matt, actually the President will be forgoing his usual quiche and mimosa and will instead behaving a large bowl of Wheaties, the breakfast of champions. He will also be running an additional 5 laps around the track and spend 45 more minutes than usual in a dry sauna in a show of solidarity and respect for the exhausting job facing our brave young troops and the sometimes sweltering conditions they must endure.

[The interview cuts to the Presidents speech addressing the beginning of the fifth year of the war]

Blah blah September 11th blah Iraq blah blah blah blah blah weapons of mass destruction blah blah blah blah surge blah blah hard work blah blah blah terrorists blah blah blah Al Qaeda blah blah Saddam Hussein blah blah Spetember 11th blah blah Iran blah blah blah newkular capability blah blah blah must not cut and run blah blah blah making progress blah blah blah blah elections blah blah blah attacks blah blah blah blah evil-doers blah blah blah September 11th blah blah blah patience blah blah blah victory.

[Cut from the President’s speech back to the Lauer/ Rice interview]

ML: The President has already begun to implement the troop increase he ordered, should the American people expect to see results soon, or do you feel that the impact may be more subtle and evident only to those in diplomatic circles?

CR: Thank you for the excellent and insightful question, Matthew. The American people need to come to terms with the fact that they are simply unqualified to make an assessment of what constitutes success in Iraq. They need to sit back and leave the important task of handling this matter to the experts in our government. After all, you wouldn’t want your paperboy to be the one to attempt to disarm a dirty bomb in the middle of Times Square, would you?

[Lauer then genuflects, kissing her ring and the hem of her dress before bowing his head and slowly backing out of the room.]


Ethel

Biological Warfare

Last evening, two of my three sons began complaining of various maladies. My oldest had a slight cough and a headache, my youngest an “extremely” sore throat. Sunday nights are often plagued by mysteriously rapid onset complaints, usually caused by the impending doom of school on Monday. I did the usual. Checked temperatures: Oldest: 100°, youngest normal. Looked at throats: red. I distributed Tylenol and sent all to bed.

At about 2:00am, my youngest woke with what he described as a “horrible” sore throat. I guess that trumps his earlier “extremely” sore one. I gave him some sore throat strips and sent him packing.

Bright and early this morning, I wielded my thermometer to find out who would win the “Sick or Not Sick” game. My oldest turned out to be the winner with a 101.9°. The youngest was now sniffling and hoarse, but without a fever. I figured it was better to be safe and kept him home as well.

So now I am shut in the house with two sniffling, coughing, feverish children. Jealous? The youngest, between coughs, informs me he feels much better, especially if I planned to take him to the doctor for a throat culture. He has Math 24 Game after school and doesn’t want to miss it. The oldest is moaning quietly on the couch. Both have begun the tentative “I’m bored” complaints in preparation for lobbying for video games and text messaging. (Electronic gaming and messaging is a no-no when you are home sick from school.)

I have dosed myself with Zicam and Vitamin C and washed my hands raw. Everything they touch is being meticulously cleaned with Clorox wipes. Lysol is my friend. I am the germ police. Despite all of this, I suppose I am doomed.

What’s that? I think I hear someone changing the channel on the TV. I had better go sterilize the remote.

Pray for me....

Lucy

New Contact Information

Please note a change in our contact emails. You may now choose to direct your correspondence to Ethel, Lucy, or the both of us using the links in the left sidebar. Our profile address is slightly different as well, so if you are using the old address.... Update!

Lucy

Mad TV iRack Apple Iraq war parody

Firefighters Say " Hell, No!!!" To Rudy

I heard an interview with the IAFF spokesman on the radio Tuesday and was very disturbed by what I heard. I hope you'll read the following letter and then send it to everyone in your address books and post it on your blogs. Let's wallpaper the internet with this one.

On March 14, 2007, the IAFF will host the first bi-partisan Presidential Forum of the 2008 election cycle. No other union and very few organizations has the credibility and respect to attract top-tier candidates from both political parties. The lineup of speakers who have agreed to participate in our Forum is truly a testament to our great union and the reputation we have built as a powerful political force and a coveted endorsement.

John Edwards, John McCain, Barack Obama, Chuck Hagel, Hillary Clinton, Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, Duncan Hunter and seven other candidates will make their case before the 1,000 delegates who will be attending the Forum and to our entire membership via same-day broadcast on our web site.

Early on, the IAFF made a decision to invite all serious candidates from both political parties — except one: former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani.

We made this decision after considerable soul-searching and close consultation with our two New York City affiliates, the Uniformed Firefighters Association Local 94 and the Uniformed Fire Officers Association Local 854, as well as our former Local 94 President and current IAFF 1st District Vice President covering New York.

The IAFF recognizes that Mayor Giuliani generally enjoys a favorable reputation as a result of his actions immediately after the tragedy of 9/11. As such, we want our affiliates and every one of our members to clearly understand the reason and rationale behind this very serious and sober decision.

Many people consider Rudy Giuliani "America's Mayor," and many of our members who don't yet know the real story, may also have a positive view of him. This letter is intended to make all of our members aware of the egregious acts Mayor Giuliani committed against our members, our fallen on 9/11, and our New York City union officers following that horrific day.

Rest assured, our exclusion of Mayor Giuliani is not about any particular contractual or policy issue or disagreement, nor is it based on his unfriendly relationship with our New York City affiliates prior to 9/11 — which we will document and explain in additional correspondence later on during the campaign. In fact, we invited several candidates with whom we have had substantial disagreement on policy issues because we feel very strongly that our members have the right to hear from all candidates, not just those who tow the IAFF line.

Regrettably, the situation with former Mayor Giuliani is very different. His actions post 9/11 rise to such an offensive and personal attack on our brother and sisterhood — and directly on our union — that the IAFF does not feel Rudy Giuliani deserves an audience of IAFF leaders and members at our own Presidential Forum.

The disrespect that he exhibited to our 343 fallen FDNY brothers, their families and our New York City IAFF leadership in the wake of that tragic day has not been forgiven or forgotten.

In November 2001, our members were continuing the painful, but necessary, task of searching Ground Zero for the remains of our fallen brothers and the thousands of innocent citizens that were killed, because precious few of those who died in the terrorist attacks had been recovered at that point.

Prior to November 2001, 101 bodies or remains of fire fighters had been recovered. And those on the horrible pile at Ground Zero believed they had just found a spot in the rubble where they would find countless more that could be given proper burial.

Nevertheless, Giuliani, with the full support of his Fire Commissioner Thomas Von Essen, decided on November 2, 2001, to sharply reduce the number of those who could search for remains at any one time. There had been as many as 300 fire fighters at a time involved in search and recovery, but Giuliani cut that number to no more than 25 who could be there at once.

In conjunction with the cut in fire fighters allowed to search, Giuliani also made a conscious decision to institute a "scoop-and-dump" operation to expedite the clean-up of Ground Zero in lieu of the more time-consuming, but respectful, process of removing debris piece by piece in hope of uncovering more remains.

Mayor Giuliani's actions meant that fire fighters and citizens who perished would either remain buried at Ground Zero forever, with no closure for families, or be removed like garbage and deposited at the Fresh Kills Landfill.

Our Local presidents at the time attempted to meet with the Mayor to stop this despicable treatment of those who perished, but he refused to even see them face-to-face.

The scoop-and-dump continued. And when hundreds of family members of the fallen joined with our affiliate leadership and members to protest Giuliani's decision, he ordered senior officers of the New York Police Department to arrest 15 of our FDNY brothers, including a number of local elected IAFF leaders.

Giuliani modified his policy after the protest because public opinion was so strongly with our members. Ultimately, he was forced to put the fire fighters back on the pile. Our protests were later proven justified as more bodies were ultimately recovered and those families given a chance for some closure and a decent burial.

Giuliani argued that the change was for our own safety, but his argument was empty and without substance. Fire fighters had been on that pile since minutes after the twin towers fell — why all of a sudden, after nearly two months working on the pile, was Giuliani concerned about fire fighter safety?

In our view, he wasn't really concerned. The fact is that the Mayor's switch to a scoop-and-dump coincided with the final removal of tens of millions of dollars of gold, silver and other assets of the Bank of Nova Scotia that were buried beneath what was once the towers. Once the money was out, Giuliani sided with the developers that opposed a lengthy recovery effort, and ordered the scoop-and-dump operation so they could proceed with redevelopment.

In the first few days immediately after the disaster, Giuliani had said he was committed to the recovery of those lost "right down to the last brick." We believed him at the time. But, what he proved with his actions is that he really meant the "last gold brick."

Giuliani crucified fire fighters after our protest and publicly stated that our members were essentially acting like babies, that they didn't have the market cornered on grief. His insensitive statements demonstrated his inability to grasp what members of the FDNY were experiencing.

What Giuliani showed is a disgraceful lack of respect for the fallen and those brothers still searching for them. He exposed our members and leaders to arrest. He valued the money and gold and wanted the site cleared before he left office at the end of 2001 more than he valued the lives and memories of those lost.

Our members deserved the right to continue with a full search for their lost brothers and other innocent victims. Proudly, as you know, the fire service has a code similar to the military, where we leave no one behind. Recovering even a piece of a turnout coat or helmet gave our FDNY brothers and sisters and the families of the fallen some small semblance of peace, something to honor. But hundreds remained entombed in Ground Zero when Giuliani gave up on them.

The fundamental lack of respect that Giuliani showed our FDNY members is unforgivable - and that's why he was not invited. Our disdain for him is not about issues or a disputed contract, it is about a visceral, personal affront to the fallen, to our union and, indeed, to every one of us who has ever risked our lives by going into a burning building to save lives and property.

We have heard from some affiliates that Giuliani's campaign is beginning to reach out to our locals, looking to build support. If you are contacted by Giuliani, Von Essen, or a representative of the Giuliani campaign, we hope you will say not just, "No," but, "Hell no." And please let the IAFF Political Affairs Department know about it by calling (202) 824-1582.

Please share this correspondence with your membership. Thank you. Fraternally and Sincerely, Harold A. Schaitberger, General President Vincent J. Bollon, General Secretary-Treasurer and Past President, UFOA of NYC, Local 854 Kevin Gallagher, IAFF 1st District Vice President and Past President, UFA of NYC, Local 94 Stephen Cassidy, President, UFA of NYC, Local 94 Peter Gorman, President, UFOA of NYC, Local 854
Written by IAFF

A Karmic Finish

While I don't get the chance to watch much television, I have managed to catch several episodes of The Amazing Race and Survivor over the past few years. Anyone familiar with these shows will immediately recognize "The Newlyweds", Rob and Amber. For those of who have absolutely no idea who these folks are , let me give you a thumbnail sketch... think Boris and Natasha from The Bullwinkle Show... only not quite as bumblingly loveable.

In Rob and Amber's Machiavellian world, lying and cheating are just part of playing the game. The only rule they have is that there are no rules. Good sportsmanship is pathetic and laughable and a strong moral character is seen as something that will only slow you down. At least til now. Although Rob and Amber have consistently come in first and second place in these competitions, all their sleazy scheming got them this time was a cosmic smack-down. Hard as they tried to lie and cheat their way through the challenges, they came in last and were eliminated from The Amazing Race this past week.

While making the morning talk-show rounds this week, Rob lamented that it "was going to kill him" knowing that the competition was taking place and he couldn't participate. Hmmmm... so what's an amoral guy and gal with lots of time on their hands to do?




I hear Ann Coulter is looking for some new people to run her fan club...


(Special thanks to Lucy for the hard work she put into creating this image!!!)


Ethel

Give Peace A Vote

Iraq and Iran...it's all about "incestuous amplification"...


E

D&G's Definition of Sexy??

In case you’re wondering, I did not find this picture in a magazine stuffed under a mattress, I didn’t find it in an area marked “Adults Only”, and it is not an ad for a new XXX-rated movie. The photo is actually part of an ad campaign by Dolce&Gabbana to help sell their clothing line… apparently those in charge of the marketing strategy must have felt that women would be compelled to buy once they realized the clothes would make them so desirable they’d be gang-raped by men with six-pack abs.

And this is progress???

Ethel

Another Quote from the Verge

I, not events, have the power to make me happy

or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be.

Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.

I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

-Groucho Marx

L

Click Play to hear what Lucy thinks of this quote

More Snow!!!???

As Lucy and I await yet another in a long series of snowstorms to pummel us once again, we thought we'd share a bit of the "fun" with you. Those of you who live in snowbelt areas will be able to easily identify with our pain, and those who don't... please keep the mocking laughter quietly to yourselves.

Although the "Diary of A Snow Shoveler" has been around the block many times, we thought we'd add new life to it through pictures. Hope you enjoy it!!


Diary of a Snow Shoveler

December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge softflakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snowtires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white s#@& fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, p#&*%$ and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the a#$&(#@ is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0 degees. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches of snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a b*%$*# who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his testicles and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25
Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The WITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches... Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his arse. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

We Made It!

After a harrowing morning of html, widget codes, and page elements, I welcome you with exhausted relief great joy to our new template. I hope our new layout seems less cluttered and more user friendly. Feel free to leave feedback, I’d love to hear what you think… Unless you have really complicated suggestions – those you can keep to yourself.

A Work in Progress

Just an FYI, I am going to be attempting to make some changes to our template this week. If you stop in and things are missing or blank, please be sure to check back. I'm a novice, so sometimes it takes awhile for me to figure these things out.

Thanks for your patience... and pray for me... I'll need all the help I can get.

Lucy

Food for Thought

"In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies."

--Winston Churchill

Must be our government's motto...

L

Iraq/ Iran... Tomato/ Tomoto

A Disappointing LOST...

Last night’s LOST was most definitely a snoozer. As an avid fan, I was greatly disappointed in the lack of any new revelations, either about the island or the characters’ pasts. The episode featured Hurley flashbacks with a stunt-casting cameo of Cheech Marin as Hurley’s dad.

In order for LOST to maintain its fan base, it has to provide a steady stream of information and/or intrigue. Last evening fell short on both counts.

For more with spoilers/specific episode info… click “Read More”

We already knew that Hurley won the lottery. We also knew that he had terrible luck and quite possibly a curse hanging over his head related to using “the numbers” to win the multi million dollar jackpot. People were dying around him. All of those facts were basically restated in a serious of predictable events such as the interview in front of Mr. Cluck’s which ended with a meteor strike and a dead news crew. Same shit, different day.

A very small glimpse into Hurley’s childhood set up a heavy handed connection to the present day. As Hurley tried to start a car that he was fixing with his father, he was told to “hope”. The car still didn’t start and Daddy disappeared on a motorcycle, with quite possibly the worst wig I have ever seen, for 17 years leaving Hurley with a bar of chocolate. The hope and the car connected to the discovery of a VW van on the island. I suppose at some point, Hurley’s abandonment issues with his manipulative father may come into play… but I hope not.

There was really no reason for the van. No reason for any of the storyline. The best parts were when Sawyer joined Hurley, Charlie, and Jin. The joking camaraderie and insults made the episode tolerable.

Kate took off to find Jack, but first she had to get “help”. How predictable was it that she would go find Rousseau, telling her that Alex (Rousseau’s daughter) is with the Others? I saw that one coming a mile away… or however far away their own private Alcatraz was.

All in all, a substandard episode. If LOST doesn’t find its way back to the formula that made it a success, ABC may find that fans are going to get lost….

Next Week's Entertainment News?

While perusing the entertainment magazines in the checkout line, covers all showing Anna Nicole and Britney in various forms of distress, I was struck by the next tragedies that will most certainly hit newsstands next week. This is how I imagine the headlines:

In an effort to regain unflattering portraits on magazine covers, Lindsay Lohan today shaved her head while flashing her lack of underwear to reporters and vehemently denying permission to perform DNA tests on her daughter. When told she has no daughter, Lohan assaulted the Star reporter with a Kabalah bracelet clad hand, leaving an imprint of an AA 3 month medal (which, incidentally can be purchased on ebay – I am not kidding). Tearfully announcing her return to rehab, journalists reminded Lindsay that technically she hasn’t really been committed to a rehab facility, thus cannot “return”. She has been out daily, not only for work, but for clubbing. Realizing she is Britney-lite, Lindsay wanders off looking for a childhood friend or bad rapper to marry on a whim, wondering aloud how hard it is to catch anorexia.

L